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What To Do If You Have Social Anxiety

Who Does It Affect

8 Signs You Might Have Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder is one of the most common types of anxiety disorders, and one of the most common mental illnesses. About 8% of people will experience symptoms of social anxiety disorder at some point in their life. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can last for a long time. Unfortunately, many people never seek help for social anxiety disorder.

There are some groups of people at higher risk of experiencing social anxiety disorder:

  • AgeSocial anxiety disorder often starts sometime between childhood and teenage years. The majority of people with social anxiety disorder say that their symptoms started before they were 18

  • WomenWomen are more likely to experience social anxiety disorder than men

  • Other mental illnesses or substance use disorderMany people with social anxiety disorder have other mental illness like depression, panic disorder, bulimia nervosa and substance use disorders. However, social anxiety seems to appear before other mental illnesses.

They Want To Be Recognized For Something Other Than Just Their Social Maladaptation

A mental health issue does not define a person it is simply one trait possessed right now. People with this affliction can be intelligent, can be productive, and can have a number of personalities and professional traits that are quite positive. Recognizing and praising these positive traits will show that you see beyond this single negative and can see their value as a whole person.

They Respond Differently To Stimuli That You Consider Normal And Even Pleasant

Remember, research shows that people with social anxiety are on high alert all of the time. This means that noise, lots of conversation, and large groups of people can overload their sensory intake. They will retreat, shut down, or flee. A study conducted by Gottschalk, M.D. and Haer, Ph.D., published in General Psychiatry, demonstrates that sensory overload and social impairment are directly related, particularly in individuals who have generalized social anxiety issues. Thus, if you are forcing a socially anxious person to participate in such activities, you are presenting him/her with an almost impossible situation. Tone down the activities in which you are asking your loved one to participate, at least for now.

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S To Take Control Of Your Social Anxiety

If you feel as though you have no power in your life , doing little things that make you feel more in control may be of help.

Even if you don’t feel in control of your life, your mental wellness, or your social anxietywhat if you were to act as though you were? This reflects behaving in ways that are consistent with feeling more in control. It’s the old “fake it until you make it” approach.

To do this, make a list of little things that you could do that would make you feel more in control. Be sure that the list contains items that are very specific. Also, focus on what to do rather than what not to do. Below are some ideas to get you started. These are all things that a person who has overcome social anxiety might find easy to do. You can get started on the path to overcoming social anxiety by gaining a bit of control over small areas of your life like this.

To make the process of learning social anxiety coping skills less overwhelming, choose one thing to work on at a time and continue to work on it until you feel you have mastered it.

Strike Up A Conversation

What You Can Do If You Have Anxiety

Do you shy away from talking to strangers? Do you avoid eye contact at the grocery store? Do you look at your feet in the elevator? Today, instead of doing what you normally do in those situations, try doing the opposite. Engage the other person in a bit of small talk, just for the sake of getting the practice and learning not to be afraid.

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How Accurate Is It

This quiz is NOT a diagnostic tool. Mental health disorders can only be diagnosed by licensed healthcare professionals. If youd like to learn more about social anxiety disorder read Psycoms guide to Social Anxiety Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatments.

Psycom believes assessments can be a valuable first step toward getting treatment. All too often people stop short of seeking help out of fear their concerns arent legitimate or severe enough to warrant professional intervention.

Social Anxiety: How To Ask For Help When People Stress You Out

Even if were fairly independent, we all worry about what others think of us from time to time. But with social anxiety, everyday interactions can feel overwhelming. We can become so concerned about what others think or how we might mess up that we cant function to our fullest potential.

Unfortunately, this can make it even more challenging to get treatment and support for social anxiety. After all, how do you reach out to people for help when social interactions are the source of your stress? People with social phobia may worry about how theyll be perceived if they reveal that they need help.

Although social anxiety is best diagnosed and treated by a licensed mental health provider, coaching can provide a wonderful source of support. Coaching relationships are inherently safe spaces where people can get an extra dose of unconditional positive regard, work out their worries about social interactions, and escape the stigma that often accompanies treatment for mental health.

Learn more about how social phobia impacts daily life and how to get the support you need to overcome it.

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Try An Herbal Supplement

If you really feel like trying something medicinal, but aren’t yet ready to broach the topic of medication with your doctor or psychiatrist, consider trying an herbal supplement from your drug store.

There are many herbal supplements that are used in managing anxiety however, it is important to know that herbal supplements are not regulated by the United States Food & Drug Administration the same way that traditional medications are evaluated. Be sure to read about any cautions, warnings or medication interactions before taking an herbal supplement.

Why You Have Social Anxiety

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We all feel the twinge of social anxiety from time to time . It can be a real nightmare to navigate our daily lives in the shadow of social anxiety and, as a psychodynamic practitioner, I often get asked, “Why am I always so socially anxious and awkward?” This is the million-dollar question for so many people…

The answer is unique to you as an individual and likely based on your own life experience. Social anxiety is rooted in your experience of people, relationships and lots of other interpersonal elements that make up your history.

Here are some patterns of behaviours and interpretations that you may identify with:

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How To Reduce Negative Thoughts

  • Think back to a recent social situation in which you felt anxious. Write down what your negative thoughts were before, during, and after the situation.
  • Ask yourself questions to challenge your negative thoughts. For example, if your negative automatic thought was “People are yawning, they must think that I am boring,” ask yourself “Could there be a different explanation?” In this case, your alternative thought could be “It probably had nothing to do with me, they were just tired.”
  • Try to notice the automatic negative thoughts that you have before, during, and after feared social situations, and challenge them with alternatives.
  • Be Mindful Of Avoidance

    Going to social events but finding ways to keep your interaction with others at a minimum isnt truly overcoming your social anxiety. Try to be aware if you look for ways to be at an event but not engage. For example, do you try to keep busy in the kitchen? Do you remain an outsider looking in, maybe focusing on your phone so nobody tries to talk to you?

    Its true that youre showing up, but without engaging with others, you arent dealing with your social anxiety. Youre also limiting how deep any relationships can develop by avoiding truly connecting.

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    Getting Plenty Of Sleep

    Getting at least eight hours of sleep per night is recommended. Lack of sleep can increase anxiety and worsen symptoms of social phobia.

    Your healthcare provider may prescribe medications that treat anxiety and depression if your condition doesnt improve with therapy and lifestyle changes. These medications do not cure social anxiety disorder. However, they can improve your symptoms and help you function in your daily life. It can take up to three months for medication to improve your symptoms.

    Medications approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat social anxiety disorder include Paxil, Zoloft, and Effexor XR. Your healthcare provider may start you with a low dose of medication and gradually increase your prescription to avoid side effects.

    Common side effects of these medications include:

    • insomnia
    • upset stomach
    • lack of sexual desire

    Talk to your health care provider about the benefits and risks to decide which treatment is right for you.

    What Social Anxiety Feels Like

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    Weve gone over the official symptoms of social anxiety disorder that mental health professionals look for to make a diagnosis. But what does it actually feel like to live with social anxiety every day? What are some of the other signs you should watch out for?

    If youre wondering whether youre just shy or if you have social anxiety, ask yourself if you often experience the following signs and symptoms:

    • You experience physical symptoms when youre in certain social situations, like blushing, excessive sweating, trembling, or a rapid heart rate.
    • You are feeling nauseous or lightheaded when youre in, or preparing for, social situations.
    • You are so anxious in social situations that you have a hard time speaking.
    • You rely heavily on alcohol or drugs to feel okay in social situations.
    • You are overly stiff in social situations, like rigid posture, speaking too softly, or not making eye contact.
    • Being overly afraid of, or even obsessed with, the idea of being judged or humiliated. You may worry excessively about what others thought of you, even after the interaction is over.
    • Having so much anxiety that youre missing school or work, or turning down social invitations regularly.

    No one can tell you whether or not you have social anxiety disorder besides a licensed mental health professional. However, if these signs are familiar to you, it might be good to seek support. Social anxiety is a treatable condition, and you dont need to live with these feelings forever.

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    They Criticize Their Own Social Skills

    Social anxiety disorder goes beyond being shy or introverted. It involves an extreme fear of social interaction and it interferes with an individual’s daily life. The symptoms usually begin around age 13 and persist into adulthood. But most people with social anxiety wait at least 10 years to get help, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

    Whether you think you may have social anxiety or suspect that someone you know might, here are some of the most common signs:

    1. They imagine embarrassing themselves.

    Whether they’re about to meet a new person, or they’re walking into a social gathering, people with social anxiety disorder envision horribly embarrassing scenarios. They worry that they’ll say or do the wrong thing, and they picture that behavior horrifying other people.

    2. They avoid situations in which they’ll be judged.

    Social anxiety causes people to think things like, “Other people will think I’m stupid,” or “I’ll mess up and everyone is going to think I’m a loser.” Their extreme fear of rejection causes them to steer clear of uncertain social situations whenever possible.

    3. They only feel comfortable with a few specific people.

    4. They worry that other people will notice their fear.

    5. They experience specific social fears.

    6. They criticize their own social skills.

    7. Their thoughts often become self-fulfilling prophecies.

    Remember Baby Steps Are Still Steps

    You dont need to make huge strides every step of the way. Something as small as committing to yourself that youll attend an event and following through is a huge sign of progress. It doesnt even have to be a formal event. it can be something as small as ordering a coffee if thats something that would normally trigger your anxiety.

    You dont need to commit to doing something as huge as giving a speech to hundreds of people or throwing a party on your own keep in mind that any progress is progress to be proud of.

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    Tip : Face Your Fears

    One of the most helpful things you can do to overcome social anxiety is to face the social situations you fear rather than avoid them. Avoidance keeps social anxiety disorder going. While avoiding nerve-wracking situations may help you feel better in the short term, it prevents you from becoming more comfortable in social situations and learning how to cope in the long term. In fact, the more you avoid a feared social situation, the more frightening it becomes.

    Avoidance can also prevent you from doing things youd like to do or reaching certain goals. For example, a fear of speaking up may prevent you from sharing your ideas at work, standing out in the classroom, or making new friends.

    While it may seem impossible to overcome a feared social situation, you can do it by taking it one small step at a time. The key is to start with a situation that you can handle and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the anxiety ladder.

    For example, if socializing with strangers makes you anxious, you might start by accompanying an outgoing friend to a party. Once youre comfortable with that step, you might try introducing yourself to one new person, and so on. To work your way up a social anxiety ladder:

    Dont try to face your biggest fear right away. Its never a good idea to move too fast, take on too much, or force things. This may backfire and reinforce your anxiety.

    Alternative And Complementary Therapies

    How To Make Friends When You Have Social Anxiety?

    Various herbal supplements have been studied as treatments for anxiety, with mixed results, according to the Mayo Clinic.

    Supplements such as kava and valerian increase the risk of serious liver damage. Others, such as passionflower or theanine, may have a calming effect, but they’re often combined with other products, so their effectiveness on their own remains unclear. Talk to your doctor before taking any herbal remedies or supplements to make sure they’re safe for you and won’t interact with any medications you take.

    Healthy lifestyle changes may help reduce the frequency of social anxiety attacks, including exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, and having regularly scheduled meals. Reducing or avoiding the use of caffeine, some over-the-counter cold medicines, and other stimulants may also be beneficial. Joining a support group may also reduce the stress of having social anxiety.

    The following tips may also help you avoid triggering your social anxiety symptoms:

    • Learn stress reduction skills
    • Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet
    • Socialize with people you feel comfortable being around

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