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How To Fix Social Anxiety

What Is Social Anxiety Here Are 8 Tips That Will Help You Overcome It

How To Fix Social Anxiety
  • Social anxiety, or the fear of being negatively judged by others, employs the bodys natural defenses which are biologically hardwired.
  • That said, we can take steps to address the triggers of our social anxiety and, in turn, overcome it.
  • An important step is to understand what triggers your social anxiety: which social situations cause your anxiety? Then, you can confront these fears.
  • Also, remembering whats important in lifelike the meaningful relationships you maintaincan help to overcome social anxiety.
  • Visualization exercises and journaling are also effective: the former helps you feel confident in real social interactions and journaling helps you find perspective.
  • You can also overcome social anxiety by outlining a plan for a successful social interaction and practicing mindfulness.
  • Finally, exposure therapy, which gradually exposes you to your fear, can help you overcome social anxiety.

Its safe to say that many of us feel uncomfortable in certain social situations. Say, at a party with 100 people, almost all of whom we do not know. Or, when giving an important presentation at work. Or, on a blind date with someone a friend set us up with. Sometimes, though, these situations bring on more than just discomfortthey trigger anxiety.

What Is Social Anxiety In Children

Social anxiety typically affects older children and teenagers.

Children with social anxiety usually:

  • have difficulty meeting other children or joining in groups
  • have a limited number of friends
  • avoid social situations where they might be the focus of attention or stand out from others for example, asking or answering questions in class
  • seem withdrawn or reserved in group situations.

Social anxiety can have some physical signs too, including nausea, stomach aches, blushing and trembling.

Its easy not to notice social anxiety. This is because children who have social anxiety are often quiet and obedient in preschool or school. They might not talk about their fears or worries.

Social Isolation In Rodents

Experimental manipulations of social isolation in rats and mice are a common means of elucidating the effects of isolation on social animals in general. Researchers have proposed isolated rearing of rats as an etiologically valid model of human mental illness. Indeed, chronic social isolation in rats has been found to lead to depression-, anxiety-, and -like behaviors as well signs of autonomic, neuroendocrine, and metabolic dysregulation . For example, a systematic review found that social isolation in rats is associated with increased expression of in the , which is associated with increased anxiety-like symptoms. In another example, a study found that social isolation in rats is associated with increased brain-derived neurotrophic factor expression in the prefrontal cortex. This results in the dysregulation of neural activity which is associated with anxiety, depression, and social dysfunction .

The effects of experimental manipulations of isolation in nonhuman social species has been shown to resemble the effects of perceived isolation in humans, and include: increased tonic sympathetic tone and activation and decreased inflammatory control, immunity, sleep salubrity, and expression of genes regulating glucocorticoid responses . However, the biological, neurological, and genetic mechanisms underlying these symptoms are poorly understood.

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Resolving Automatic Anxious Responses

Sometimes resolving imprint experiences isnt enough, or there isnt a clear imprint, or a different technique simply works better for a specific individual.

Voice Tempo Shift

Anxious people tend to talk fast, not only out loud but also in their head. By slowing down your internal dialogue, you can become much more calm.

A description of the steps involved in this process is available in the first part of this blog article. This method comes from Nick Kemps Provocative Change Works.

Voice Location Shift

Changing the speed of the voice works in about 90% of cases. When it doesnt work, changing the location tends to work very well:

  • Imagine or remember a context in which you feel anxious.
  • What do you say to yourself to make yourself anxious? Listen to that voice inside now
  • Where do you hear that voice coming from?
  • Imagine hearing the voice play from a small speaker over there on the wall, 10-20 feet away from you. How does that change your experience?
  • If you like the change, imagine being in the context which makes you anxious, but keep the voice over there coming out of a speaker 10-20 feet away.
  • For even more useful things you can do with an internal voice, I highly recommend Steve Andreas two volume set on changing negative self-talk: Transforming Negative Self-Talk and More Transforming Negative Self-Talk.

    Spinning Feelings

    This method is a rapid technique for unraveling any strong emotion and is particularly effective for anxiety and rage.

    Core Transformation

    What Is Social Anxiety Disorder

    Learning How to Cope with Social Anxiety

    Social anxiety disorder is a common type of anxiety disorder. A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in certain or all social situations, such as meeting new people, dating, being on a job interview, answering a question in class, or having to talk to a cashier in a store. Doing everyday things in front of peoplesuch as eating or drinking in front of others or using a public restroomalso causes anxiety or fear. The person is afraid that he or she will be humiliated, judged, and rejected.

    The fear that people with social anxiety disorder have in social situations is so strong that they feel it is beyond their ability to control. As a result, it gets in the way of going to work, attending school, or doing everyday things. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about these and other things for weeks before they happen. Sometimes, they end up staying away from places or events where they think they might have to do something that will embarrass them.

    Some people with the disorder do not have anxiety in social situations but have performance anxiety instead. They feel physical symptoms of anxiety in situations such as giving a speech, playing a sports game, or dancing or playing a musical instrument on stage.

    Recommended Reading: Is There An Over The Counter Pill For Anxiety

    Where Can I Get A Social Anxiety Test

    Your healthcare provider is your first point of call to assess whether you might meet the criteria to be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. Your doctor will do an assessment to determine if your symptoms are caused by any underlying physical health conditions. Your doctor may then refer you to a psychiatrist or a psychologist who specializes in diagnosing anxiety disorders.

    The Definition Reality Of Social Anxiety Disorder

    Occasionally someone will ask me what its like to have social anxiety. Well, heres how the psychology professors describe it:

    Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. You could say social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people. It is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in most all areas of a persons life. It is chronic because it does not go away on its own.

    You know the problem with this definition? It doesnt capture the REALITY of how bad having social anxiety really is. I still remember my darkest days vividly, heres just one small example

    Imagine this

    Youre taking an innocent walk in the park. Its a beautiful day. Youre really enjoying yourself. The grass is green, the birds are singing and life feels great.

    Suddenly, you see some people walking towards you in the distance. Your heart skips a beat. You start to freak out inside. You try to figure out if its someone you know. Immediately you want to turn around and avoid these people, but theyve already seen you. It would look weird.

    So you keep walking towards them.

    Its a couple of cute girls and theyre getting closer.

    At this point Id be thinking something like SH*T SH*T SH*T SH*T!

    At least until the next person walks by.

    In this article Im going to give an overview of the different common treatment options available for you, and which ones are the best in my opinion.

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    Tips To Manage Anxiety And Stress

    Coping Strategies

    Try these when you’re feeling anxious or stressed:

    Fitness Tips: Stay Healthy, Manage Stress

    For the biggest benefits of exercise, try to include at least 2½ hours of moderate-intensity physical activity each week, 1¼ hours of a vigorous-intensity activity , or a combination of the two.

    • 5 X 30: Jog, walk, bike, or dance three to five times a week for 30 minutes.
    • Set small daily goals and aim for daily consistency rather than perfect workouts. It’s better to walk every day for 15-20 minutes than to wait until the weekend for a three-hour fitness marathon. Lots of scientific data suggests that frequency is most important.
    • Find forms of exercise that are fun or enjoyable. Extroverted people often like classes and group activities. People who are more introverted often prefer solo pursuits.
    • Distract yourself with an iPod or other portable media player to download audiobooks, podcasts, or music. Many people find its more fun to exercise while listening to something they enjoy.
    • Recruit an exercise buddy. It’s often easier to stick to your exercise routine when you have to stay committed to a friend, partner, or colleague.
    • Be patient when you start a new exercise program. Most sedentary people require about four to eight weeks to feel coordinated and sufficiently in shape so that exercise feels easier.


    If you are the parent of a college-aged child with an anxiety disorder, here are some tips to help with managing his or her anxiety.

    Strategy : Challenge Your Thoughts

    Social Anxiety Disorder vs Shyness – How to Fix It

    Just because you think or believe something doesnt make it true.

    Challenging your thoughts is just like spring cleaning.

    Take ahold of each thought that crosses your mind and ask yourself, Should I keep this or should I throw it away?

    You can also ask yourself does this thought create more peace or more anxiety?

    Challenge: Once you have identified an irrational thought, replace it by choosing to say the correct thoughts to yourself in two different ways.

    This retrains and rewires your mind to think in a healthier way.

    Example: Suppose you have this catastrophizing thought, People will notice that Im anxious and then they think something is wrong with me?

    You now have to say two healthy thoughts to yourself.

  • What if nobody notices that Im feeling nervous and I get to know someone new? Thats more likely.
  • Its possible that things go really well and they invite me to hang out sometime.
  • When you begin this habit, you might find yourself getting sick of the number of times you have to repeat healthy thoughts to yourself.

    Just hang in there and dont quit. Making new mental habits takes a lot of time and effort!

    Remember you are retraining your brain to think in a completely different way.

    If you stick with it, a month down the road you will have less unhealthy thoughts and you may only need to do this exercise a few times a day.

    With time, you will develop healthy thinking habits.

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    How Long Does It Take To Get A Social Anxiety Diagnosis

    In order to be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, you must have been experiencing the symptoms outlined in the DSM-5 for at least 6 months or more. The DSM-5 diagnostic criteria also require ruling out other mental disorders such as panic disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, or autism spectrum disorder. It may therefore take multiple sessions with a mental health professional before they can confidently make a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder.

    What Is An Anxiety Disorder

    Severity of symptoms and a persons ability to cope separate everyday worries or anxious moments from anxiety disorders. National surveys estimate nearly one in five Americans over 18, and one in three teens ages 13 to 18, had an anxiety disorder during the past year.

    If anxiety is persistent, excessive, or routinely triggered by situations that arent an actual threat, tell your doctor, who can discuss treatment options or refer you to an experienced mental health professional.

    Read Also: Does Vyvanse Help With Anxiety

    Learn How To Manage Your Anxious Thoughts

    Anxiety doesn’t come out of the blue. When you have anxiety attacks, it’s often because your mind tends to spiral into negative thoughts – often without your control. Sometimes you can control this anxiety by keeping these thoughts at bay and learning to dismiss triggers that cause you anxiety.

    For many, this is easier said than done. But there are many different strategies you can try that may be effective. These include:

    A Question Checklist

    When you feel anxious, have a checklist on hand of questions to ask yourself about that anxiety experience. The longer the checklist, the more you’ll find that your thoughts become more realistic. Questions that you can use include:

    • Is there a reason to believe something is wrong?
    • What evidence is there that something is wrong?
    • Is there a chance I’m blowing this out of proportion?


    Affirmations not for everyone, but those that do use them find them to be very beneficial. Affirmations are things that you say to yourself to make yourself feel better. These include:

    • I’m okay. This is just anxiety and I will get passed this .
    • I have a great life and I’m looking forward to tomorrow.
    • My anxiety won’t control me.

    Getting Used to Physical Symptoms

    The latter is known as “exposure therapy” and there are countless ways to create exercises that will habituate you to your panic attack triggers.

    Fear Of Judgment And Rejection

    Social Anxiety Fix

    This type of anxiety is mostly associated with intense feelings of peer-judgment in situations that require a teenager to perform, such as conversations with strangers.

    Anxious teenagers are frequently worried about what everyone else thinks about them and assume theyre being mocked. For example, a teenager with social anxiety might have debilitating fear that, if they spill something in public, they will attract unwanted attention.

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    Tackling Fears Using A List Method

  • 1Face your fears. Many people who suffer from social anxiety tend to avoid their fears rather than facing up to them. Although this can help to alleviate social anxiety in the short-term, it can actually make the anxiety worse in the long-run. Facing your fears is always difficult and requires a lot of bravery and determination, but if you want to cure your anxiety it is something you must do.XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source
  • 2Write a list of situations that trigger social anxiety. Once youâve identified your triggers, write them down. Then, look at your list and arrange the triggers from least threatening to most threatening. At the bottom of the list might be making eye contact while speaking, in the middle may be asking a stranger for directions the top of the list might be asking someone to a dinner date or singing karaoke.
  • If you struggle to rank your fears, try assigning them numbers. Give a 1 to “scary” triggers, a 2 to “quite scary,” and a 3 to “terrifying.”
  • 3Start tackling your list. Make a goal to tackle one list item every week. Start with the items you gave a â1â rating, and work up the list. You want to start with the more manageable items first and build your confidence as you attempt more and more challenging items.
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