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How To Help Girlfriend With Anxiety

Constantly Thinking Your Partner Wants To Break Up

When Your Girlfriend Has Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar

The fear that your partner wants to break up is normally completely unfounded and can put unnecessary stress on the relationship. There are normally clear signs that a relationship isnt going well or that your partner is unhappy and might want to end things. In the absence of these signs, take your relationship at face value and trust that your partner wants to be with you.

Seek Mental Health Support

If youre confused about this illness and want to understand your partner more, the best step at this point is to consult with a mental health professional. Let Kentucky Counseling Center help you. After talking to a therapist at KCC, maybe Individual Therapy or Couples Therapy, you can come out of this stronger and happier.

Dont Say: Why Arent You Seeing A Therapist/on Medication

Theres nothing wrong with showing concern for a friend, but be careful it doesnt come across as accusatory. Suggesting your friend should be doing something can create a sense of shame if they arent, or make them feel like theyre being judged. If they do need to see a mental health counselor or take medication, those are decisions they need to make on their own and at their own pace.

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Address Your Own Feelings About Your Partners Anxiety

Dating someone with an anxiety disorder can be difficult, and you may find yourself having intense reactions to what is going on with your partner. This is normal and understandable. Taking some moments to practice some self-care and empathy for yourself is vital.

If it feels difficult for you to cope, or if you find yourself reacting in unhelpful ways to your partners anxiety, you might want to consider entering counseling or therapy.

What Does An Anxiety Disorder Look Like In Young Children

Teen Girls Are More Stressed Than Boys

Depending on the type of anxiety, there are a range of physical, psychological and behavioral indications. With toddlers and young children, parents may notice increased irritability, excessive crying, tantrums as well as more difficulty self-soothing or self-regulating. Young children may exhibit regressive behaviors such as bed-wetting or excessive clinginess. Children with anxiety disorders may experience stomach and headaches, frequent bathroom urges, rapid breathing, chest pains, shortness of breath, nausea and vomiting, poor appetite, muscle aches and tension and sleeping difficulties. Other indicators are: hypervigilance, frequent reassurance seeking, feeling overwhelmed by new experiences avoiding situations– school, people and places, events, social gatherings– pretty much anything that triggers or fuels their anxiety.

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The Anxiety Coming Out Conversation

Whether you ask or deduce it after months of dating, there will be a point when you partner discloses they deal with anxiety. Its a crucial moment in the relationship, so be sensitive and do not judge. Thank them for trusting you with this information that they have most likely not shared with many people. See it as the beginning of a discussion you can resurface occasionally.

How Do I Keep My Own Life

Dont suddenly try to change yourself, or change how you relate to people, says Chris. If you start trying to second-guess your partner or act differently, youll be presenting a false picture. You both need to be honest.

You want to feel youre both getting things out of the relationship and enjoying yourselves, he says. That might mean doing some things without your partner. If you love football and they cant handle going to a match, that might be something you do without them.

Read Also: What Is Good For Anxiety Attacks

Build Your Own Support System: Friends Family Hobbies Community

Remember two very important things:

Its not your fault she is depressed. Even if something you did seemed to trigger a bad day for her, this is an illness in her mind, and if X event hadnt triggered it, Y event would have.

There is nothing you can do to fix it. You cant make it go away and you cant make it better.

What you can do is tell her/show her you love her and be a constant in her life, something she can trust when she cant trust her own mind. Ask her what she wants/needs for support. If she asks for something, follow through if you can.

And build your own support system: friends, family, hobbies, community. I feel being with someone who has depression can be incredibly draining on your emotional resources. Make sure youre securing your own oxygen mask before trying to help her with hers.bringabanana

Signs Of A Spouse With Anxiety

How I Help My Girlfriend With Her Anxiety

Before you approach them, you need to look for the signs. Again, it can be tough to spot them at first because youve probably thought of them as natural parts of your spouses personality. But once you take a closer look, you may find that they are indicative of a serious problem. Symptoms of high-functioning anxiety include:

  • Persistent feelings of worry

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Ways You Can Actually Help Your Girlfriend Through Her Anxiety And Depression

  • She wont react to compliments the same way other women in your life did, because shes always questioning her worth. Have patience.
  • Her heart races whenever a decision needs to be made. Encourage her to trust her instinct.
  • Some days, nothing will calm her, except for the song that always soothes her tormented spirit. Ask her about it.
  • She loves being around you but has a hard time expressing her feelings socially. Support her.
  • She feels like this will never be over. Show her compassion.
  • Sometimes, shell be afraid to even open an email. Offer to do it for her.
  • She still has a hard time coping with anger, even though her therapist calls this progress. Gently ask her to keep going, its an important stepping stone to her recovery.
  • Shes afraid to hurt everyone she loves. Especially you. Dont hold back on showing her gratitude.
  • She will run the mile to make ends meet, mostly when its about something shes truly passionate about. Support her passions.
  • She craves intimacy as much as any other living, breathing being. Caress her.
  • Shes a strong soul, underneath her layers of insecurities. Trust her.
  • She doesnt always know how to cope with her anxiety attacks. This exercise will help her.
  • She appreciates patience and support. Remind her shes safe with you.
  • Shes tired of justifying her anxiety to people who just wont get it. Defend her.
  • One day, shell be afraid of having a breakdown in front of an important project. Hold her hand through it.
  • Going To Therapy Yourself

    Whether your partner accepts or resists your suggestion to go to therapy, you should do it yourself. It will help you develop the skills necessary to understand and cope with your partners anxiety. A therapist can also teach you how to more effectively support your anxious partner.

    When you are dating someone with anxiety, its easy to forget about taking care of yourself. By going to therapy, you can ensure you are still focusing on your own mental health.

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    Dont Make Assumptions About Your Partners Anxiety

    Good communication is important. It can be easy to assume that you know what your partner is thinking or needs during an anxious period. While you may be trying to help it can often be the wrong thing to do you should ask what would be helpful. Sometimes your partner will take their anxiety out on you it doesnt mean they dont love you, just that they are in crisis.

    Treatment For Childhood Anxiety Disorders

    How to Cope with Anxiety: 8 Tips to Help Your Teen

    If you suspect your child has a disorder, the first step is to see a trained therapist who will take a full history, talk with and ask questions of the parents, family members, and the child about the fears and behavior. The therapist can diagnosis the childs specific anxiety disorder based on the information collected through these interviews.

    Read Also: What Is Separation Anxiety In Adults

    Put An End To Enabling

    You may not be aware of them, but enabling behaviors are common in relationships where a partner has anxiety, panic disorder, or another mental health condition. If your partner has anxiety, you may feel like you are being helpful if you are working to prevent them from from feeling any distress.

    However, when you enable your partner, it prevents them from learning how to better manage their symptoms. It is your partner’s responsibility to work through that process and come to terms with their condition.

    To stop enabling your partner, communicate with them about your needs and expectations.

    If your partner refuses to seek or accept help, it’s important that you address these concerns with them. Keep in mind that you are really helping your partner when you support them in facing reality and encouraging them to learn how to cope with panic disorder.

    Do Consider Seeing A Couples Counselor If Youre Both Having Trouble Navigating The Anxiety

    As much as you care about your partner, you cant be their entire emotional support system. It can be incredibly draining over time… and may even wind up damaging your relationship. For instance, you might feel like you make extra sacrifices to soothe your partner’s anxiety, which can lead to resentment down the line.

    Seeing a couples counselor can help in a multitude of ways. It can enable you to understand each other in new ways contend with the anxiety itself identify triggers and learn how to support each other in a healthy way. You can also grow your bond with one another to make your relationship better than ever before, all with the help of an experienced, credentialed couples counselor. Couples counselors know how to hold a neutral, calm atmosphere during sessions that lets each person talk about their feelings, fears, frustrations and more. This means that it could be an appropriate space for you to address any issues related to your relationship that may be the subject of your partners worry or contribute to their anxiety.

    Also Check: How To Know If You Have Social Anxiety

    Missing Out On The Good Times

    Still not sure if youre dealing with relationship anxiety?

    Take a step back and ask yourself: Am I spending more time worrying about this relationship than enjoying it?

    During rough patches, this might be the case. But if you feel this way more often than not, youre probably dealing with some relationship anxiety.

    Instead Say: Ive Noticed Youve Been Anxious A Lot Lately And Im Concerned

    Dating Someone With Anxiety: A Boyfriend’s Advice

    If you notice your friend getting more and more anxious and you know they havent sought any kind of professional help, its OK to express your concern if it comes from the heart.

    Instead of making it seem like they are the problem, focus on how their behavior is negatively affecting them and how youve seen anxiety change them: maybe they arent going to concerts anymore even though they used to love live music, or they havent been socializing as much and youre worried about them being lonely.

    If theyre open to getting help but feel overwhelmed, offer to do some research on good therapists or to wait for them in the lobby during their first appointment. Remind them that anxiety is treatable and that this isnt something they have to fight alone.

    Read Also: How To Overcome Anxiety And Panic Attacks

    Waiting For Something To Go Wrong

    People with relationship anxiety often feel like things in their relationship are too good to be true, and expect things to take a sour turn at any moment. While this certainly can happen in a relationship, most of the time things will not go wrong out of the blue! If your anxious feelings stem from past relationship traumas , then its important to address them so that the past doesnt create problems in your current relationship.

    How Does Relationship Anxiety Affect Us

    As we shed light into our past, we quickly realize there are many early influences that have shaped our attachment pattern, our psychological defenses and our critical inner voice. All of these factors contribute to our relationship anxiety and can lead us to sabotage our love lives in many ways. Listening to our inner critic and giving in to this anxiety can result in the following actions:

    • Cling When we feel anxious, our tendency may be to act desperate toward our partner. We may stop feeling like the independent, strong people we were when we entered the relationship. As a result, we may find ourselves falling apart easily, acting jealous or insecure or no longer engaging in independent activities.
    • Control When we feel threatened, we may attempt to dominate or control our partner. We may set rules about what they can and cant do just to alleviate our own feelings of insecurity or anxiousness. This behavior can alienate our partner and breed resentment.
    • Reject If we feel worried about our relationship, one defense we may turn to is aloofness. We may become cold or rejecting to protect ourselves or to beat our partner to the punch. These actions can be subtle or overt, yet it is almost always a sure way to force distance or to stir up insecurity in our partner.

    Recommended Reading: How Do You Know You Are Suffering From Anxiety

    You Are Demanding Or Controlling Of Your Partner

    This is another sign of relationship anxiety that can be related to a mismatch in attachment style. People with an insecure attachment style will often act controlling toward their partner. The controlling behavior is often possessive and jealous and stems from personal insecurities, especially about the relationship. Addressing your attachment issues will help you cope with your general relationship anxiety.

    What To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Having A Panic Attack

    How to Help Adopted Kids Deal With Separation Anxiety ...

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    If you are thinking about what to do when your girlfriend is having a panic attack here are some tips:

    • Do not panic, stay calm and be there for your girlfriend.
    • Stay there with her, the best thing to do is be there throughout her panic attack.
    • Keep an understanding, encouraging and positive attitude towards the panic attack.

    However, there are some things that you should try to avoid when helping your girlfriend go through a panic attack.

    Remember, not every person experiences panic attacks exactly the same way but there are certain characteristics that are common among people who suffer from panic disorder.

    You could learn about the condition yourself with self-help books, plenty of them on amazon.

    When you are with someone that has an anxiety disorder, often you can find yourself not really sure about what to do or say to help your loved one, which is very frustrating.

    However, if you are not entirely sure to avoid assuming and just ask your partner if they can tell you what are some things you could do to help them to manage their anxiety.

    Therefore, having a healthy and long-lasting relationship with someone that has an anxiety disorder is possible but it is necessary to avoid letting comments and the influence from others affect your relationship.

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