What Causes Relationship Anxiety
Put simply, falling in love challenges us in numerous ways we dont expect. The more we value someone else, the more we stand to lose. On many levels, both conscious and unconscious, we become scared of being hurt. To a certain degree, we all possess a fear of intimacy. Ironically, this fear often arises when we are getting exactly what we want, when were experiencing love as we never have or being treated in ways that are unfamiliar.
As we get into a relationship, it isnt just the things that go on between us and our partner that make us anxious. its the things we tell ourselves about whats going on. The critical inner voice is a term used to describe the mean coach we all have in our heads that criticizes us, feeds us bad advice and fuels our fear of intimacy. Its the one that tells us:
Youre too ugly/fat/boring to keep his/her interest.
Youll never meet anyone, so why even try?
You cant trust him. Hes looking for someone better.
She doesnt really love you. Get out before you get hurt.
This critical inner voice makes us turn against ourselves and the people close to us. It can promote hostile, paranoid and suspicious thinking that lowers our self-esteem and drives unhealthy levels of distrust, defensiveness, jealousy and anxiety. Basically, it feeds us a consistent stream of thoughts that undermine our happiness and make us worry about our relationship, rather than just enjoying it.
What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety
The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large. Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions. While, everyones inner critic is different, some common critical inner voices include:
Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship
- People just wind up getting hurt.
- Relationships never work out.
- Men are so insensitive, unreliable, selfish.
- Women are so fragile, needy, indirect.
- He only cares about being with his friends.
- Why get so excited? Whats so great about her anyway?
- Hes probably cheating on you.
- You cant trust her.
- He just cant get anything right.
Voices about Yourself
- Youre never going to find another person who understands you.
- Dont get too hooked on her.
- He doesnt really care about you.
- She is too good for you.
- Youve got to keep him interested.
- Youre better off on your own.
- As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you.
- Youve got to be in control.
- Its your fault if he gets upset.
- Dont be too vulnerable or youll just wind up getting hurt.
Which Is The Most Common Cause Of Muscle Spasms
Muscle spasm facts Spasms can affect many different types of muscles in the body, leading to many different symptoms. Spasms of skeletal muscles are most common and are often due to overuse and muscle fatigue, dehydration, and electrolyte abnormalities.
Head twitching and anxiety. Anxiety can cause muscle twitches and spasms, too. Typically, the anxiety causes stress and that stress can put tension on muscles and nerves. That can disrupt body signals which causes certain muscles to react with involuntary movement.
Don’t Miss: What Doctor Do I See For Anxiety
What Is Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Anxiety is a word that describes feelings of apprehension, concern, fear, nervousness, restlessness, or worry. Normal feelings of anxiety often serve as an alarm system that alerts you to danger. Your heart may beat fast. Your palms may get sweaty. Anxiety can provide an extra spark to help you get out of danger. It also can give you the energy to get things done in normal, busy situations. These occasional worries are normal.
Generalized anxiety disorder is ongoing anxiety that isnt related to a particular event or situation. It also can be anxiety that isnt normal about a situation. For instance, a person who has GAD may constantly worry about something thats unlikely to happen. These worries interfere with your day-to-day life.
Women are more likely to have GAD than men. GAD usually begins to affect people in their teens and early 20s.
What Is The Difference Between Fear And Anxiety
Anxiety differs from fear in several important ways. Fear is a response to present danger it is usually highly focused, attached to a very specific thing or circumstance, and meant to mobilize fast action. Anxiety doesnt require an external stimulus it is a response to real or imagined future threat, and it is typically more diffuse, setting in motion the need for constant vigilance in anticipation of some calamity. Fear is contagious, marked by characteristic featureswidened pupils, pale skin that signal others to be afraid. Anxiety is highly subjective. While anxiety shares some of the physiological signs of fearheightened awareness and fast heart rate, similarly set off by the hormones of the stress responseit carries a heavy cognitive load of worry, a form of rumination about what might possibly go wrong in the future.
Don’t Miss: How Quickly Does Prozac Work For Anxiety
Establish A Bedtime Routine
Establishing a bedtime routine lets you focus on taking proactive steps for yourself instead of ruminating in your anxiety. Your bedtime routine may include activities such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, changing into pajamas, reading from an inspirational book, prayer, or listening to music.
Your bedtime routine should be established to help set you up for better rest. Dont include any activities that may be too overstimulating, such as scrolling through social media or watching TV.
Instead, make your routine calming and quiet, leading up to you falling asleep. This will signal to your brain that it is time to rest and will allow you to go to sleep without an upset and anxious mind.
Let Go Of Needing To Know The Cause Of Anxiety
A reason anxiety increases when we struggle to answer the elusive question “why” is because in searching for that answer, we become caught up in anxiety. We expend a whole lot of time and negative energy fighting.
Even more important, when we are consumed in trying to find an anxiety cause we are anxious, we become hyper-focused on anxiety. The concepts that are receiving the brunt of our attention are anxiety, worry, fear, panic, and the like.
When we hold on to the need to know why we are holding onto anxiety itself because that is what we are thinking about. Chances are, those thoughts are not peaceful. To reduce the grip of this vague anxiety, it’s important to let go of the need to know the anxiety cause. We don’t have to enjoy anxiety, but we can be at peace with the fact that there’s no apparent cause for it.
Read Also: Does Topamax Help With Anxiety
Anxiety Is Not Uncommon
Anxiety is scary. It gnaws at you wherever you go, sapping the joy out of life. You could be safe at home with your family and still feel it a constant worry buzzing in the back of your mind that can grow into panic. It can make your most important tasks feel impossible. Who can work, drive a car, or care for children when they can only focus on their intense feelings of fear? Its even worse when you have no idea why youre anxious. If you cant understand it, how can you explain it to your family, friends, or co-workers? Anxiety can make you feel isolated, and no one should have to go through a scary time alone.
If youre experiencing anxiety, youve got company. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses in our country, afflicting about 40 million adults a year. And although effective treatment is available, only 36.9% of sufferers are treated. People may feel embarrassed about admitting that theyre anxious. They may be dismissive of their anxiety. Or, they may not be aware that frequent anxiety is a mental health problem. But awareness of your anxiety is the first step in getting treatment for itand in understanding its causes.
Why Do I Get Random Intense Anxiety
A big event or a buildup of smaller stressful life situations may trigger excessive anxiety for example, a death in the family, work stress or ongoing worry about finances. Personality. People with certain personality types are more prone to anxiety disorders than others are. Other mental health disorders.
Read Also: How Do You Treat Anxiety
Why Anxiety Increases At Night
Theres no one easy explanation as to why anxiety increases at night for some people. Instead, it can be the result of a variety of factors.
One explanation is that when the lights go out and all is quiet, there is less distraction and more opportunity for worry and rumination about your career, finances, or relationships. Difficulty falling asleep may also unleash its own set of worries about how well you’ll be able to function the following day.
Other reasons why anxiety increases at night may include:
- Drinking too much caffeine during the day or close to bedtime, which can make some people jittery and more anxious
- Experiencing a recent trauma or having pre-existing post-traumatic stress disorder
- Health anxiety, or noticing aches and pains more while trying to fall asleep
- Having certain medical conditions one study linked nighttime anxiety to menopause, for example
- Worry or fear over the next day
How Do I Know When My Anxiety Needs Treatment
Any time a mental health issue such as anxiety gets so far out of hand that it disrupts your daily life, its time to get help. Especially if one or more symptoms cause you a lot of distress and worry, you should seek treatment before your symptoms get worse.
Most mental health disorders exist on a spectrum. For some people, symptoms are less severe and respond well to outpatient treatment. But for many others, its going to take intensive treatment to make headways into recovery. Particularly if youve tried outpatient therapy and it hasnt worked, residential treatment could be your best option.
But how do you know when your anxiety is severe and lasting enough to qualify as an actual disorder? Its impossible to pinpoint without a clinician, but you can learn to spot the same signs a clinician would look for.
Recommended Reading: What Does Anxiety And Depression Feel Like
What Causes Panic Disorder
Panic disorder sometimes runs in families, but no one knows for sure why some family members have it while others dont. Researchers have found that several parts of the brain, as well as biological processes, play a key role in fear and anxiety. Some researchers think that people with panic disorder misinterpret harmless bodily sensations as threats. By learning more about how the brain and body functions in people with panic disorder, scientists may be able to create better treatments. Researchers are also looking for ways in which stress and environmental factors may play a role.
When Does A Dog Start Showing Protective Aggression
Sometimes dogs reserve protective aggression for individuals they consider particularly vulnerable. A dog who has never shown aggression to strangers in the past might start behaving aggressively when she has a litter of puppies. Likewise, a dog might first show protective aggression when her pet parents bring a human child into the family.
Recommended Reading: What Scent Helps With Anxiety
Who Gets Panic Attacks
At least 6 million Americans suffer from panic attacks and panic disorder both conditions classified as anxiety disorders. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America , about 2-3% of Americans experience panic disorder in a given year and it is twice as common in women as in men. Panic disorder typically affects individuals when theyre in their 20s but is also seen in young children, adolescents, and older adults.
Is It In Your Genes
If anxiety appears to run in the family, it may be that your genetic inheritance that biological lottery has set you up for some vulnerability to anxiety.
That does not necessarily mean your genes are the cause of your problem. The story is far more complicated than that.
Not every timid, shy and anxious child develops into a fearful adult with anxiety problems.
Lifestyle factors, parenting and other experiences, as well as your manner of dealing with stressors , determine the ultimate outcome.
Your personal development, and here the development of anxiety, depends on
- how safe your environment was when you grew up
- to what extent essential emotional needs were met
- whether or not you had parents who were overprotective
- whether or not you had a parent who was always anxious
- whether or not you were encouraged to become more resilient and deal with, rather than avoid, feared situations at home, with friends and at school
These experiences would have shaped your own reactions and general attitude towards stressful situations and life-events.
But ultimately, yes, your genes could indeed be the cause of your anxiety.
So, what can you do about it?
Youve always been a nervous type chronically anxious?
Regardless of whether that is through a genetic predisposition or any of the above, you just need to follow all the steps below to permanently get over that sense of panic.
Unless you need treatment for trauma, decide to focus only on the here and now from now on.
Don’t Miss: Is Xanax Good For Anxiety
Symptoms Of Generalized Anxiety Disorder
GAD usually has a gradual onset, so you may not recognize the symptoms as they build up. GAD may fluctuate or change over time. If you have GAD, you may feel tense and worried more days than not. Other symptoms include:
- Trouble falling or staying asleep.
- Muscle tension.
- Restlessness, feeling keyed up or on edge.
- Headaches, pains for no obvious reason.
If you feel tense most of the time and have some or all of these symptoms, talk to your doctor. He or she will ask questions to make sure something else isnt causing your symptoms. He or she also will perform a physical exam.
Why Do I Cry So Much
Its one thing to feel the need to cry after a particularly hard day. But some people feel that they need to randomly cry, and others are shocked at how uncontrollable their tears are. It is as though a waterfall is coming from their eyes, sometimes at surprising times.
That instinct is often just emotion trying to find its way out. Anxiety is excitatory to the body it activates the fight or flight system. Your desire to cry may be related to the way your body is reacting to that system, with the intense emotions and stress during that time overwhelming the body.
Fear is scary, and your flight mode may trigger your body to produce large amounts of tears as a way to let out that stress.
To some, crying may also become a habitual response. Once you become used to crying as a way of relieving anxiety and stress, you may subsequently develop a habit of crying when you experience that stress because it provides emotional relief.
Also Check: How To Get Out Of An Anxiety Attack