Remember That Others Are Insecure Too
Dont take it personally if someone doesnt seem interested in talking back. You dont have to be everyones friend, but you should seek to consistently be friendly. Dont only talk to the friends youre comfortable with. Seek out new faces, and do your best to make them feel welcome.
There are a few blog posts you read and never forget. This one by Jani Ortlund is one of them for me. I hope its as helpful to you as it was to me!
What did I forget? Any other tips youve found helpful for pushing past social anxiety? Why do you think its so important to work on it?
This article originally appeared on Revive Our Hearts and LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com. Used with permission.
Paula Hendricks Marsteller no longer tries to catch guys attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. Instead, she blogs for teen girls and women by day and journals her adventures by night. Her first book, Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, released September 2013, and she lives with her hubby in Syracuse, New York.
Image courtesy: ©Thinkstock/tommaso79
Lessons I Learned From My First Year Of Marriage
HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, were not trained counselors. If youre seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as theyll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:
- * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
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I Hate Being Told That Ive Done Something Wrong That Ive Made A Mistake
As much as I know that mistakes are on the path to growth and self-improvement, I still hate to receive negative feedback.
Sometimes its dressed up as a euphemism, as on opportunity for growth.
Im guilty of shrouding negative feedback in similar terms when I provide others with constructive criticism.
But its still the same. Its still negative feedback. And it still hurts.
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Do I Have Call Anxiety
Questions to ask. First, it is important for employees to know whether they have sales call anxiety. The following questions may help:
- Do you think you will be unable to have a constructive conversation?
- Do you worry that potential customers or clients will think negatively of you?
- Do you start to stutter, have shaky hands, or experience other physical symptoms when making a call?
- Do you spend more time on email or email blasts instead of more effective direct communication?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have some degree of call anxiety. . Acknowledging that you have sales call anxiety is important because it rarely gets better without putting in effort.
What to look for. Managers should also be aware of signs of SCA in their employees. In many cases, managers will notice second-order effects of anxiety when sales force strategies or targets change . When you detect symptoms of SCA, you should discuss this with your employee. Things you can look out for in your salespeople:
Identifying the specific issue. The next step is to find out which specific aspects of sales calls the employee finds challenging and why. For instance, some salespeople may over-prepare because they find it difficult to close with customers, whereas others dread speaking to strangers so they struggle to contact new prospects.
Use Your Imagination In Positive Ways
An imagination is a wonderful thing. It gives you power, creativity, and the ability to think outside the box. Unfortunately, an active imagination can be a harmful tool when it causes you to think about negative things. Your imagination can magnify your fears, making your situation seem much worse than it actually is.
Instead of letting your imagination lead you down the dark corridors of fear, purposely use it for overcoming fear.
How do you do that? Pick a calm moment when you are relaxed and not anxious. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation that normally causes fear. For instance, if you are afraid of being lost in a crowded building, picture yourself in a busy airport. Now, imagine yourself handling the situation peacefully. You dont freeze and begin to cry. Instead, you search for an information desk or a sign that will help you regain your sense of direction. You imagine yourself reaching the correct parking lot, unlocking your car door, and driving safely home without any bad incidents.
The peace you experienced in your imagined scenario can actually help you get through the actual ordeal more peacefully.
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Six Simple Habits That Defeat Anxiety
Deanne Repich, Director: National Institute of Anxiety and Stress
If youre like most anxiety sufferers, you probably spend much of your day wrestling with physical symptoms, feeling afraid, or even hiding your anxious feelings from others. When stressors arise your racing heart, trembling, dizziness, obsessive thoughts and other symptoms take over.
Anxiety can keep you feeling trapped and once you feel this way, its difficult to know how or if you can ever feel better.
If you suffer from anxiety, take heart. Studies show that simple anxiety-reducing habits can go a long way toward improving how you feel.
Here are six simple habits you can use to defeat anxiety and take back control of your life.
Prevalence Of Anxiety And Depression In Men
On average, one in 8 men will have depression and one in 5 men will experience anxiety at some stage of their lives.
Men are less likely to experience anxiety and depression than women. They are also less likely to talk about it. This increases the risk of their anxiety or depression going unrecognised and untreated.
Untreated depression is a high risk factor for suicide. In Australia, there are about 3,000 suicides each year. Around 75% of people who take their lives are men, with an average of almost 7 men taking their lives every day.
Its important to remember that anxiety and depression are conditions, not weaknesses, and effective treatments are available.
and depression not only for you, but for your friends and family. Visit Beyond Blue to find out more about anxiety.
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Do Something You Never Thought You Could Do
This year alone has been filled with things Ive accomplished that I couldnt have even imagined doing previously. And you know what it feels GREAT!
The idea of going to the gym was frightening to me. So I walked my scared butt in there and signed up for a membership.
Taking myself to the doctor for important checkups was the bane of my existence. So I made appointments and actually followed through with them. Although uncomfortable, I did it anyways.
Driving 4-5 hours was something I would roll my eyes at and scoff yeah right, not in a million years could I make it through that long of a car ride. So I pushed myself to do it, and after realizing that it really wasnt that bad, I became comfortable enough to make that same drive frequently.
Think about something that you are certain in this moment that you could never do, and do it. Yes, its terrifying, but thats the point. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to expand it. Believe me, if I can do it, so can you and you will feel so good once you do.
What Are The Outcomes Or Benefits Both Temporary And Permanent Of More Probable Scenarios
Now that youve defined the nightmare, what are the more probable or definite positive outcomes, whether internal or external? What would the impact of these more-likely outcomes be on a scale of 1 to 10? How likely is it that you could produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have other people done this before and pulled it off?
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Learn More About Your Fear
This first step can be the hardest one, but its also absolutely necessary. You cant overcome a fear that remains hidden in the dusty regions of your subconscious. You must face it. When you turn your face toward a person, you see that person and learn what he looks like and how he is acting. When you turn toward your fear , you notice things about your fear that you didnt know before. This awareness helps you overcome it.
To help yourself face your fears and anxiety, try keeping a journal over a period of two or three weeks. Record any patterns you notice. Do your hands turn clammy and your stomach clenches when you hear the doorbell? Do you experience more symptoms of anxiety in the morning or the evening? What do you tend to do when your fears arise? Jot down anything that seems significant. Transferring your fear patterns and symptoms into writing can help demystify them. They are no longer so big and insurmountable.
Most importantly, learning all about your fear gives you an idea of how to counter it.
How To Push Back Fear
Like all animals, we are programmed to survive. We have the ability to quickly learn and
change our behaviors—-to save ourselves from dangerous situations.
What happens when that system is kicked into overdrive? When the danger we are avoiding
is not a physical threat but an emotional one, ?
3 Questions to Help You Face Your Fear:
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Three Simple Tests Can Tell You When To Fight Back
Posted March 10, 2016
Here’s the selfie: I’m in a oversized gray sweatshirt and a pair of baggy black stretch pants that used to bear some connection to yoga. My hair is up in a ponytail, which doesn’t really work with my short bob but keeps the unwashed, greasy strands off my face. I have the heated blanket set to high, and it’s wrapped around me like a wigwam. I’m scarfing down instant mashed potatoes. Depression has come to call.
I’m flagrantly, morbidly wallowing in my discontent. When the phone rings, I shoot daggers at it and let it go unanswered. Emails ping, and I refuse to see what fresh hell it is. Nothing good can possibly happen to me, so why should I invite disaster? I let the mail pile up until my postman complains.
As low as I am, I know I can go even lower. I’ve been there, to that bottom rung of hell, and I don’t ever want to go back. But here’s the essential dilemma: am I capable of pushing back against my depression? Sometimes I surprise myself and find that I am. Other times I try and fail. Failure is dangerous, because it reinforces all the messages of self-loathing that are swirling around in my brain. So it’s a tricky business: when should I fight, and when should I simply give in to the despair?
If that doesn’t make me smile, I’m down for the count and just go make myself some more mashed potatoes.
Strategy : Expect And Accept What You Can Realistically Accomplish:
- You are going to make mistakes and have trouble finishing everything on your to-do list.
Its better to accept that than beat yourself up. Then you can plan accordingly.
- Aim for 75% complete rather than 100%.
If you can do more than 75%, fantastic! Dont limit yourself on a good day.
- Expect and accept that mistakes will happen.
Build in extra time to deal with that.
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Develop An Action Plan For Anxiety And Depression
Your action plan for anxiety and depression will cover a wide range of options. The plan can include exercise, stress management and how to improve your sleep. You may be referred to a psychologist who can help you address things like negative thinking and how to manage difficulties in your relationships.
Some people think its weak to admit theyre going through a tough time, but if you have anxiety or depression, you cant just snap out of it or pull yourself together. Theres more to it than that.
If you think you may have anxiety or depression, and want to take action, start by talking to someone you trust keeping it to yourself can make things worse. Discuss your situation with a friend, partner, family member a colleague or your GP.
Beyond Blue has put together information about how men can create an action plan.
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How To Really Overcome Anxiety And Agoraphobia
Anxiety can affect all of us some experiencing it in more extreme forms than others. I could start this post by telling you about all of the mental health statistics and then move onto vague advice from professionals who havent experienced extreme anxieties themselves, but Id rather be real with you.
My journey to overcoming severe anxiety was a long and hard one. There is no magical overnight cure, and even with medication you still have to do most of the work yourself.
Although it can feel incredibly lonely trying to battle it on your own and it takes a lot of strength to push yourself past your comfort zones, it is possible.
There was a time when I couldnt even get into my car without preparing myself mentally and feeling my heartbeat speed up during every single ride.
Grocery shopping was a no-go, because line ups, duh. Being stuck anywhere like in a line, a meeting or appointment, a car, a large building, was something that I avoided at all costs, because I believed that by avoiding it, I was stopping any bad feelings from happening before they began.
What I was doing instead was allowing my brain to believe that avoidance was the best course of action instead of facing those situations head on and becoming comfortable with them.
I tried a LOT of things to fix my brain. Over the past few years, Ive watched myself improve so much that I dont even recognize the anxiety-ridden girl that sat in this same spot previously.
Tip : Face Your Fears
One of the most helpful things you can do to overcome social anxiety is to face the social situations you fear rather than avoid them. Avoidance keeps social anxiety disorder going. While avoiding nerve-wracking situations may help you feel better in the short term, it prevents you from becoming more comfortable in social situations and learning how to cope in the long term. In fact, the more you avoid a feared social situation, the more frightening it becomes.
Avoidance can also prevent you from doing things youd like to do or reaching certain goals. For example, a fear of speaking up may prevent you from sharing your ideas at work, standing out in the classroom, or making new friends.
While it may seem impossible to overcome a feared social situation, you can do it by taking it one small step at a time. The key is to start with a situation that you can handle and gradually work your way up to more challenging situations, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the anxiety ladder.
For example, if socializing with strangers makes you anxious, you might start by accompanying an outgoing friend to a party. Once youre comfortable with that step, you might try introducing yourself to one new person, and so on. To work your way up a social anxiety ladder:
Dont try to face your biggest fear right away. Its never a good idea to move too fast, take on too much, or force things. This may backfire and reinforce your anxiety.
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Use Your Brain In A Different Way Than Usual
Your fear and anxiety arise out of a certain part of your brain, and they allow emotion to overcome rational thought. When you feel your fearful symptoms coming forth, try to use a different part of your brain. Think about numbers, for instance. A nurse in the clinic might ask a patient to rate his pain on a scale of 1-10. Use this scale for your anxiety. How anxious are you when 1 is perfectly calm and 10 is your very worst symptom? Stop and analyze. Do you rate your fear at 7? Very good. You can work on lowering that to a 4 or a 3. Try using the next step to lower your fear rating.
Check In With Yourself
When youre out in public and start feeling anxious, its easy to spiral and become fixated on everything that appears to be going wrong, even if youre the only one feeling that way. In the moment, you need to focus outside of yourself and remind yourself, This is probably anxiety. I cant read their mind. I do not know what theyre actually thinking of me, Dr. Potter says.
This is easier said than done, of course, so she suggests using a technique called five senses that can help you regain perspective and stay in the moment. Do a check-in with yourself of all of your five senses to get yourself more externally focused. Distract yourself from unpleasant internal sensations and negative thoughts, says Dr. Potter. Then you can try to refocus on: What are they actually saying to me? What else is going on right now? What can I see? What can I hear? What can I feel?
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