Help Your Spouse Get Appropriate Treatment For Social Anxiety
One of the most important things you can do to help your spouse overcome social anxiety is to get them into treatment. Professional treatment for social anxiety disorder can help them learn coping mechanisms for better handling social situations it will help them reframe social events in a more positive way. Treatment will also guide them to analyze their negative feelings and behaviors and make positive changes.
For social anxiety, treatment is largely focused on individual behavioral therapy. Your spouse may benefit from medications, including antidepressants. Support groups and group therapy are also useful in treating this condition and provide a way to practice socializing in a safe setting.
Approaching Your Spouse With Anxiety
Noticing the signs of high-functioning anxiety is one thing, but approaching your loved one about them is a different story. Only 36.7% percent of people with an anxiety disorder get treatment, and this number is believed to be lower for those with high-functioning anxiety. When you consider the fact that this disorder makes it difficult to express feelings, this number makes sense. Throw in the fact that many people function well enough that they dont realize they have a problem, and broaching the subject of treatment seems to be even more difficult. But it doesnt have to be. When bringing up the subject of your spouses anxiety, try to be sure you:
Find A Way To Connect
Think of a time you’ve been anxious about somethingyour fear of heights or a traumatic event that left you rattledand then multiply that by 10. That’s how your partner with anxiety feels, Tyler said.
Tapping into your own experience can help you empathize with your partner. “Just listen and connect,” he suggested, “because that’s going to open up all the communication.”
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Questions To Encourage Self
Self-education and self-care are both vital to successfully helping care for and foster a healthy relationship with a partner living with depression.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness reminds caregivers that you must first take care of yourself to be able to take care of the people you love. To do this successfully, here are a few questions to ask yourself in private:
- Are you getting between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night?
- Are you drinking or using drugs to cope with the stress?
- Are you exercising daily?
- Are you experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, insomnia, or digestive issues?
- Do you have people you can talk to who understand what youre going through?
- Where can you locate resources to help you?
Karen likens it to the oxygen mask that will drop from the ceiling of an airplane in the unlikely event of losing cabin pressure. Any parent would have the impulse to put it on their children first, but that usually results in the parent losing consciousness before they save the child. Both people suffer.
Put your oxygen mask on first, so you can best help your partner with this challenging situation.
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Give Them Time To Exercise
Exercise is proving more and more health benefits as we continue to study it. I have to work out multiple times a week to prevent anxiety attacks, and my husband knows to expect that after we have children Ill need time to exercise often. Even giving your spouse half an hour to jog around the block or an hour to hit the gym can lower anxiety neurotransmitters in the body, such as cortisol, and produce the neurotransmitters like that bring happiness, such as dopamine and serotonin.
Note: Make sure youre not giving them a gym membership with the hint that they need to drop a few pounds. Instead, try to print out a few news articles that show how regular exercise acts like a natural anti-anxiety medicine.
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Dating Someone With Anxiety: The Dos And Donts
The heart wants what the heart wants. At times, you cant choose who you fall in love with. And part of being in love means accepting and loving that person in all positive attributes and even their flaws. As much as you want to be loved for who you are, your partner with anxiety would like to feel the same way as well.
Anxiety is like the third person in your relationship. Its lurking around, waiting to attack. Anxiety in your partner can either make or break your relationship. It may put a strain on your relationship, or you can both come out of this stronger than ever.
If youre dating someone struggling with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or other emotional disturbance, this quick read article can help you know the dos and donts. Educate yourself on how you can relate with your partner and understand that anxiety is real.
Youre Not A Therapist But
You can certainly avail yourself of therapy techniques, especially those based upon cognitive behavioral therapy . The research literature shows that the number one treatment for anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy is not something that only therapists can use, says Palmer. Its actually a tool for anyone. One of the first steps is to identify the early stages of anxiety by learning and identifying physical cues: Some people may feel a certain tightness in their chest or a bit of stomach pain, but they dont associate it with possible anxiety, she adds. Other parts of CBT encourage practicing realistic thinking by being on the lookout for negative thought patterns such as I cant do thisI feel so nervous. The two of you can practice replacing such thoughts with Its okay to feel anxious, and it doesnt have to stop me.
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Pray With Them And Love Them Just As God Made Them
Taking your spouse by the hands or into and embrace and praying with them is an ultimate act of love. Going before God and asking for respite is doing exactly what we need to do in marriage, to seek God together in love. Its a privilege to with and for Stephen when life gets hard. It reminds me that God put me in his life to love him the best that I can. It reminds me that self-sacrifice isnt an annoyance, but something many people wish they had significant others to give to.
Something sweet that Stephen does when I ask him to pray with me is that he doesnt pray in a way that makes me feel bad for having anxiety. Rather, he prays with me gently, asking God to remove my fear. He doesnt treat me like Im sinning when the anxiety attacks come. Rather, he treats me like a daughter of God, gently caring for me in the best way he knows how.
How Do I Help My Partner With Anxiety
When faced with an anxious wife, men usually respond with defensiveness, stonewalling, and resentment.
Partly because youre left feeling powerless in the face of your wifes anxiety.
And partly because anxiety can lead your wife to behave in ways that you may perceive as controlling or nagging.
Does she call you frequently to check why youre not home yet? Shes probably worried about your well-being.
Does she hound you about the money you spend eating out for lunch every day? Shes likely feeling anxious about finances.
Remember, anxiety is about fear.
Even if you dont share that same fear, you can validate your partners fears. Validating doesnt require agreement. It simply means acknowledging that these feelings are her reality, and that feeling scared and anxious is difficult for her, no matter the cause.
When youre in the middle of dealing with your partners anxiety, do your best to breathe and stay calm.
Chances are, its nothing personal against you.
Anxiety takes healthy concern to a new level. When your wife is triggered, shes operating from a fight-or-flight standpoint. As shes thinking about safety or finances, her heart may start to beat a bit faster, her thoughts may race, and she may start taking quick shallow breaths.
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Anxiety Robs You Of Joy
Experiencing joy requires a sense of safety or freedom. Anxiety makes us feel either fearful or limited. Also, a brain and body trained to stress may have a much harder time enjoying sex and intimacy. Negative thoughts and fears impact a persons ability to be present within a relationship, potentially sucking the joy out of a moment.
so dont take yourself too seriously. You can use your sense of humor to overcome anxiety. Remember to laugh and play with your partner. Joy physically heals and comforts your brain in ways that are vital for a healthy relationship.
How To Support A Partner With Anxiety: Be Patient
Both Green and Tracy Nathanson, LCSW and founder of Pace of Mind Therapy, say that being impatient with a partner who has anxiety is a common “mistake” people make. “They may get frustrated with their partners inability to control their anxious thoughts and feelings,” says Nathanson.
Because as Green explains, “It doesnt help to tell someone to ‘just get over it,’ ‘move on,’ or ‘stop worrying about it.'” Instead, you should try to understand your partner’s anxiety, continues Nathanson. “At times, we can personalize our partners behaviors and take it personally. It is important to be patient and recognize that it is our partners ‘anxious brain’ that is influencing his or her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.”
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Expert Backed Ways To Help A Depressed Wife
Depression can be tough not only on the person grappling with it but also on their relationships. If youre sharing your life with a depressed wife, for instance, her mental health will have a direct bearing on both of you as a couple as well as individuals.
While living with a depressed wife, you may find yourself getting caught in her mood cycles or experiencing an inexplicable sense of suffering. At times, you may even find yourself at the receiving end of extreme reactions or angry outbursts. In such situations, you may desperately look for ways to cheer up your depressed wife.
However, healing your depressed wife is not your prerogative or responsibility. Nor are you equipped with the right skills to do so. But you can definitely help them get better by offering the right kind of support at the right time. To be able to do so, you first need to recognize the signs of a depressed wife.
Encouraging Your Partner To Try Individual Or Couples Therapy
When you care for someone, its tempting to support them by trying to act as a surrogate therapist. The problem is youre not a therapist. Trying to play that role will be emotionally draining. It could make you resent your partner.
You are not responsible for providing therapy to your partner. This is why you should gently guide your partner toward professional help. A therapist can help them improve how they deal with anxiety, in and outside a relationship.
If youre in a serious, long-term relationship, consider couples counseling. An anxiety issue might be based on what is going on within your relationship.
Getting professional help by working with a couples counselor can take the pressure off your partner. Rather than encouraging them to do something on their own, you are inviting them to join you in therapy.
What happens in couples counseling?
In couples counseling, you and your partner will gain insight into your relationship, learn how to effectively resolve conflicts, and improve your overall relationship satisfaction through various therapeutic techniques. Therapists will often assign tasks to the couple so that they can apply the skills learned in therapy in their daily interactions. Most couples conclude therapy with a better understanding of their relational patterns and heightened communication skills, allowing them to continue their relationship in a much healthier, more fulfilling way.
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Shifting Your Mental State To Relieve Stress
Anxiety causes stress because we instinctively perceive it as a problem, nothing more. This evokes emotion such as anger and fear.
Talkspace therapist Kate Rosenblatt MA, LPC, LMHC recommended couples try to shift their mindset regarding anxiety. It can be helpful to remember that feelings are not necessarily facts, but they are trying to tell us something. Asking yourself: What is this anxiety trying to say? This can be helpful in understanding what you might be wanting in the moment, and what you can do to best support yourself. Dialectical behavior therapy teaches us about the importance of emotion regulation, and how key it can be to do what works for us to calm our minds and bodies down when we feel anxious, so that we can make the best decisions for ourselves.
Rather than seeing it only as a source of stress, they can develop a curiosity about it. Trying to understand the anxiety makes it more difficult to become angry about it.
How To Support A Partner With Anxiety: Engage In Helpful Activities Together
When it comes to managing anxiety together, Nathanson says it can be helpful to do an activity “that grounds them to their present or distracts them from worrying,” and suggests something active.
Similarly, Green suggests learning exercises for co-regulation that you can practice together. “For example, holding hands and doing breathing exercises, listening to calming music, or hugging,” she says. “You can also do a mindfulness or grounding exercise together.” And, if your partner is open to it, Green explains that you could invite them to join you in your own self-care practices throughout the week as well.
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Anxiety Breaks Down Trust And Connection
Anxiety causes fear or worry that can make you less aware of your true needs in a given moment. It can also make you less attuned to the needs of your partner. If youre worried about what could be happening, its difficult to pay attention to what is happening. When you feel overwhelmed, your partner may feel as though you arent present.
so train your brain to live in the moment. If you notice a fear or concern that causes your thoughts to stray from the facts or the present moment, pause and think about what you know . Calm down before you act. You can make purposeful steps to build trust in your partner. Share openly when youre feeling worried, and consciously reach out to your partner when you might normally withdraw or attack in fear.
They Rely On You To Nudge Them In The Right Direction
As long as your partner is not actively having a panic attack , getting some fresh air is really important. Going for a walk outsidewhere you might even run into some puppies!can often help relax anxiety. A walk around the block is a great option if your partner is feeling particularly off. This change of scenery can do wonders for their mind and to help calm their nerves.
The hard part of this is, when someone is feeling anxious, it doesn’t typically feel great to leave the house. Their anxiety brain is trying to keep them ‘safe,’ which for many can mean staying in the place they feel the most grounded and have the most control. However, the benefits of going outside are profound, so try to encourage them to go on a walk with you creates a safe space for them to get the benefits while feeling contained and supported.
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