Do: Go To Therapy Yourself
Whether your loved one resists or accepts the idea of therapy, you should also take care of yourself as well and seek counseling. A counselor can help you better understand your partners behavior, how to cope with it and how to support your partner.
At the same time, your counselor can help you understand your feelings and how you can take care of yourself. As much as youre trying to take care of your loved one, prioritize self-care as well.
Sometimes You Will Be The Trigger Do Not Take This Personally
No, our anxiety will not magically skip over you just because we are dating you. If anything, being in a relationship adds to the anxiety. There are constant questions about how to reply to your text message asking what we are doing, what happens if we upset you, what does our future look like, and so on. But do not blame yourself in these situations. Do not feel guilty about any anxiety or panic attacks that stem from you. Anxiety is something we have to live with and deal with, in all aspects of our life.
Anxiety Can Actually Deepen Your Relationship
Anxiety isnt only a source of stress in a relationship. Its also an opportunity to understand and love your partner more deeply. The beliefs behind their anxiety is a part of who they are.
By learning about anxiety or seeking help from a mental health professional, you can support your partner and look out for your own mental health. Then your relationship can become stronger and more full of joy.
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Do: Manage Your Reactions To The Anxiety Or A Panic Attack
When youre dating someone with anxiety, during their breaking point, you may think that its a personal attack on you or its an act of rejection or selfishness towards you. But its not. Its not an attempt to create a distance to break your relationship.
Make sure youre aware of how to manage your reactions in front of your partner. It will be helpful to avoid shouting and avoid what triggers your partners anxious state. It helps if you could sit down and talk about supporting them the next time they get panic attacks. You need to be on the same page to make this relationship work.
Focus On The Other Important Relationships In Your Life
If youre wondering how to deal with separation anxiety from your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., one of the best cures is to spend time with other loved ones. Dont forget about those other important relationships in your life: your siblings, parents, friends, or even your children.
You might feel sad to be separated from your partner for a period, but there are dozens of other people who would love to spend some of that time with you.
Make a plan to have lunch with an old friend. Call your mom. Take your children out for a super fun outing.
These things will warm your heart and remind you that you are oh so loved.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy For Teen Girls With Anxiety
If supportive conversations and coping skills dont seem to be enough, counseling can help teens girls overcome anxiety. You dont need to be in a full-in crisis situation in order to benefit from therapy. Normal life transitions like starting at a new school, managing homework stress, or dealing with friend drama are common and valid reasons to seek out a counselor. Sometimes, its just nice to have an unbiased person to work through all this stuff with who isnt a friend or a parent.
In particular, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be a great option for teen girls with anxiety. It goes beyond just talking about worriesteens walk out the door with tools they can use right away to start coping with life stress. Its really empowering to get a handle on strong feelings like anxiety. Teens can take the newly learned self-confidence and coping skills they learn in CBT with them into young adulthood.
If youre in North Carolina, New York, or Florida and looking for a CBT therapist for your teen girl, Id love to help! Im local to the Davidson, North Carolina area, but I can see teens from all three of these states online. You can learn more about me and my approach, or shoot me an email if youd like to set up a first appointment.
Include Your Partner In Self
Do you have any rituals or hobbies you use to take care of your mental health? Maybe you meditate, run or listen to relaxing music. If so, try to include your partner.
Ive done breathing exercises with boyfriends and its very intimate, said life coach Nina Rubin. Weve sat across from each other and breathed at the same slow rate.
Including your partner in rituals like this can help both of you reduce anxiety in the relationship.
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Relationship Anxiety Types And Tips
So many things can cause anxiety in relationships, and often that anxiety differs depending on what brought it on. Abusive relationships cause anxiety for reasons that are completely different than those that develop anxiety because of problems raising children. Some people have anxiety first that leaks into their relationship in other ways.
It is such an immense topic that entire books have been written about how and why some people develop relationship anxiety and the challenges that they go through. When we talk about relationship anxiety, we may be talking about any of the following:
Managing Anxiety Takes Time And Practice Patience Is Greatly Appreciated
While I cannot speak for everyone, I regularly attend therapy where I talk about my most recent anxious moments and learn about cognitive behavioral therapy, a set of techniques used to manage negative thought processes, the very foundation of anxiety itself. Therapy is difficult and challenging, because you have to repeatedly wrestle with your anxiety to learn how to win. We get a lot of homework from our counselors as well. It is hard to cope with failure because perfectionism is in our blood. Be supportive of your partner both when they progress and regress. All battles are easier when you can face them with a partner.
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Help Them To Help Themselves
Anxiety is very treatable, both with medication and talking therapies. Having someone along on the journey to help makes it easier. Your partner might find it difficult to go and see the GP or a therapist about how they are feeling, so it can be a help to offer to go along with them. It may be helpful to practice things like relaxation and mindfulness with them to help them normalise the experience, especially in the early practices. Ultimately the decision to seek help will be your partners, and some people choose to deal with their anxiety themselves. Whatever they decide, be supportive of your partners decision.
Ask Questions And Do Your Best To Understand What Theyre Going Through
Anxiety can be different for everyone. Some people will experience uncomfortable reactions in the body like a churning stomach or an out of control heart rate. Others will have a racing mind.
While you can read information online on what its like to live with anxiety, youre not going to get the full picture of what its really like for your partner.
Its a deeply subjective and personal experience.
So if youre going to understand what its like for them, you need to talk to them about it.
Its better to have this discussion when youre alone and in a comfortable space. After all, your partner needs to be comfortable to talk about something that troubles them.
Here are 3 good questions you can ask:
1) Is there anything you want me to know about your anxiety?
2) Is there anything I can do that will help when youre experiencing anxiety?
3) Is there anything that you dont want me to do?
As someone who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, I can tell you that its not easy to talk about anxiety.
So be patient and take your time while talking about this difficult topic with your partner.
Remember, you dont have to learn everything there is to know about your partners anxiety in one conversation. It will take time.
Furthermore, if youve only just started dating, its obviously going to take time to develop the trust and understanding necessary to be totally honest with each other about these kinds of things.
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Bacteria On The Brain
Neuropsychology includes strong speculations that schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and other neurological or psychological problems may also be linked with changes in the microbiome. Researchers believe that disturbance in bacteria in the microbiome could cause the immune system to overreact and contribute to GI tract inflammation, leading to the development of disease symptoms found not only in your whole body but also in your brain. This connection between the brain and gastrointestinal tract is called the gut-brain axis. Some researchers think that early life infections may adversely affect the mucosal membrane in the GI tract, disrupt the axis of the gut and brain, and interfere with normal brain development. Mucous membranes can also be replaced by other methods, such as poor diet, antibiotic use, radiation treatment, and chemotherapy.
Encourage And Join In On A Healthy Anti
Healthy lifestyle choices are anti-anxiety because they promote good physical and mental health. Help your spouse adopt healthier day-to-day practices and encourage them by leading with your own example. Some ways to be healthier and better able to tackle and conquer anxiety include:
- Getting enough quality sleep every night
- Eating a healthy, nutritious diet and limiting junk foods
- Exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy weight
- Avoiding alcohol and drugs
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How To Stop Relationship Anxiety
Relationships are incredibly complicated. There are two things that you have to ask yourself in the beginning, long before you can expect to fix your relationship:
- Is the relationship worth saving?
- Are you willing to change yourself even without your partner changing?
The second question, however, is based on one simple truth about relationships: you can only change yourself. Despite all the ways you plead with your partner to improve, you can’t be the one to change them. Only they can change them. Your role, then, is to try to be the best partner you can be and as open as possible, and then hope that it motivates them to change as well.
Should You Touch Someone Having A Panic Attack
Avoid physical contact and assuming it can help them calm down.
Try to be patient and supportive helping your friend to slow down their breathing and ask for their permission to touch their shoulder or back.
If they say you are allowed to touch their hand or back, it can really accelerate their calming process.
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How Do We Treat Relationship Anxiety
Couples Therapy is an effective treatment for Relationship Anxiety. Where both partners agree to seek therapy together, it can be an intimate space where relationship fears can be explored, new patterns of relating to one another can be found, and a deeper understanding of early life experiences and how these shape our adult relationships can help couples reignite their compassion and empathy, as well as their sex life.
For couples where both parties are not agreeable to therapy, individualised treatment approaches are available that can target your anxiety in a way that will have a positive impact on your current and future romantic relationship. This might include CBT, ACT, DBT, IPT, or Psychodynamic Therapy. Either way, there are treatment options that can lead to positive and lasting change in your relationships.
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Quick Tips For Helping Your Boyfriend With Anxiety
Here are a few ideas that may help
- Enlist the help of someone he respects and admires a brother, uncle, father, friend, pastor, ex-coworker, etc. Ask that man to invite your boyfriend for coffee.
- Get a volunteer job, and invite your boyfriend to join you .
- Take a class together yoga, ballroom dance, kayaking.
- Get a life and enjoy it! Dont dwell in his misery, anxiety, and panic. Detach from his depression, and free yourself. He may find the motivation he needs in your happiness and fulfillment.
What will motivate your boyfriend to get help with anxiety and panic attacks depends on his personality, lifestyle, perspective, and journey. There are no pat answers that help everyone. For instance, one guy might find that dog walking is exactly what he needs, while another might need a week-long camping trip with his buddies.
The trick is encouraging him to try different things until he finds what works. One of my favorite books ever is Kitchen Table Wisdom Stories That Heal. It contains stories about being knocked down by physical and emotional health problems, and offers amazing advice for healing and becoming stronger and healthier because of the illness.
If you have any tips or thoughts on helping a boyfriend or loved one overcome anxiety and panic attacks, please comment below.