Erectile Dysfunction And Sexual Performance Anxiety
Erectile dysfunction is a health issue that affects a lot of guys. ED is especially common in older men due to a variety of medical conditions.
In fact, about 50 percent of men in their 50s and 60s have moderate symptoms of ED however, younger men are not immune, and many experience situational or episodic cases of erectile difficulties.
Most of the time, men below 30 who have problems getting it up have no underlying physical issues. Many of these guys are probably just feeling the effects of sexual performance anxiety instead.
No one wants to deal with erectile problems, there are numerous ways to treat them. In addition to reducing or eliminating the causes of sexual anxiety, there are a number of medical and non-medical approaches you can consider in order to tackle the symptoms.
Focus On What You Like Instead Of What You Think Your Partner Likes
People with performance anxiety are often caught up in pleasing their partner, so much so that it keeps them from being immersed in their own sexual experience. Dr. Bat Sheva tells O.school that âthe more you practice focusing on what feels good to you and what you want to do, the easier it all getsâ¦ Assure yourself that you deserve to feel good and keep encouraging yourself to feel what you are feeling and choose what to do next.â As you check in with your partner, remember that your pleasure is just as important as theirs. If youâre not sure what you like and donât like, masturbating on your own can be a great way to experiment with various touch and movement.
How To Cope With Sexual Performace Anxiety
The first step to coping with sexual performance anxiety is removing any shame you might be feeling about not having an optimal sex life. In some instances, sexual performance anxiety goes away with time, especially in situations caused by having a new sexual partner or where a relationship issue with your partner has been resolved.
People with sexual performance anxiety often operate under the false belief that they are somehow inadequate or incapable of satisfying their partners. Focusing more on your enjoyment and that of your partner instead of how adequate your performance is can help you overcome your anxiety.
Here are some other tips that can help you overcome SPA:
Also Check: How To Stop Anxiety Eating
Premature Ejaculation Playing On Your Mind Dont Panic
Around 1 in 10 men in the UK have an issue related to having sex, such as erectile dysfunction or PE. For many men, this pressure can quickly have a psychological effect and lead to performance anxiety. Over time, this stress and anxiety can lead to difficulty in getting or maintaining an erection. While this can leave you feeling self-conscious, it is worth noting that most men will experience an erection problem at least once during their lifetime.
So what is PE and what defines it as an issue? Occasional episodes of PE, uncontrolled ejaculating either before or shortly after sexual penetration are common, are nothing to worry about. These can often be explained by circumstance for example, if you have a new partner or havent had sex for a while.
However, if you keep worrying that you cant last as long as you should in the bedroom as most men have done at some stage. Start by asking yourself whether you are simply comparing yourself to unrealistic expectations. Any time after 60 seconds is considered normal for ejaculation, and a study of 500 men found that the average time they lasted was 5 and a half minutes perhaps shorter than you might expect.
If both partners are happy, theres no set time for how long sex should last. If you find you are ejaculating prematurely at least half of the time, our PE clinic is here to help.
Four Ways To Help Relieve Premature Ejaculation
1. Open up about PE.
Premature ejaculation is a problem that causes many men to feel shamebut it shouldn’t, and its important to talk to your partner about it.
This is particularly important if PE is making you completely avoid sex. Odds are, your partner will be understanding and willing to work with you on ways to address it to ensure everyone is getting the sex they want. Sometimes that bit of reassurance may be all thats necessary for mild PE to go away, especially if it stems from anxiety.
2. Take the problem into your own hands.
There are a number of manual approaches you can use to reduce the frequency of PE. Two of the best known are the stop-start method and the squeeze technique. Choose one and practice either by yourself or with your partner.
In many cases, these exercises can solve the problem with no additional treatment necessary.
3. Start using a condom or choose a thicker one.
Adding an extra barrier is an easy way to reduce sensitivity and prevent premature ejaculation. Look for condoms that are advertised as “Extra Strength” or “Extra Safe.”
If youre new to using condoms, remember to use lots of lube in order to improve enjoyment and avoid causing pain and irritation.
4. Use a numbing spray or cream.
For immediate relief from premature ejaculation, consider a topical medication to help desensitize your penis.
Read Also: How To Stop Relationship Anxiety
Treat Any Underlying Sexual Dysfunction
Treating any underlying sexual conditions like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation might relieve you of some stress during sex. Getting these conditions treated and managed can help boost your confidence and enhance your sex life. Much of sexual performance anxiety stems from the fear of potential sexual dysfunction. If you think you might have an issue with erectile function, talk to your doctor about treatment options. You donât need to suffer in silence and hope you can enjoy your next sexual encounter. If you do have an erectile condition, remember itâs a very treatable condition.
Getting Over Performance Anxiety
There are many different ways to get over performance anxiety, and different schools of psychology have different approaches based on their view of how the human mind works. Different methods will work for different people but it is worth trying a few to see which works best. Here we will look at a few approaches:
The biological school of psychology looks at the biological aspects of our behaviour and which drugs and hormones etc contribute to the way we act. Beta blockers are a kind of drug used in treating stage fright. These attach to the beta receptors in the heart, lungs, brain and elsewhere and thereby minimise the effects of the nervous system by blocking out adrenaline thereby removing the fight or flight syndrome that is responsible for your nerves. However there is some debate as to whether this is a positive way to treat performance anxiety and this is particularly due to their side effects such as hallucinations, dizziness, drowsiness and nightmares. Another point is that in some ways the fight or flight response is actually a positive effect and not necessarily something that you should want to completely remove.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
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The Downside Of Getting Nervous On The Job
Getting nervous while performing a routine task can be a sign that you need more training, or guidance, or positive support. But more often its simply about the pressure we put on ourselves to perform.
When youre nervous its really your sympathetic nervous system kicking into gear and letting you know that its time to get active, says Jonathan Fader, a licensed performance and clinical psychologist. In that sense, a certain amount of nervousness and anxiety can actually help us perform.
The problem is, we can get so invested in making sure things turn out OK that we accidentally undermine ourselves, psychologically speaking.
Oftentimes were worried about what other people will think of us or how well perform, and that can cause us to pay attention to minute details of what were doing, especially for things that are well learned, that we do all the time. And we can actually disrupt our own performance, explains Sian Beilock, President of Barnard College and a cognitive scientist whos an expert on performance anxiety.
Oftentimes were worried about what other people will think of us or how well perform, and that can cause us to pay attention to minute details of what were doing, especially for things that are well learned, that we do all the time. And we can actually disrupt our own performance.
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Try Taking Penetrative Sex Off The Table
Take the pressure off yourself and try taking penetrative sex off the table. Try other means of intimate sex instead. This might elevate the pressure to âperformâ. Focusing more so on the sensual part of sex could be a much-needed reprieve. If penetrative sex is off the table, try other ways of enjoying your partner. Try focusing on more sensual things like:
- Mega make out kissing
- Cuddle on the couch
- Dance with each other
This could help you, in the long run, to become more comfortable with your partner and yourself.
How Can I Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety
Nope. Stop the negative thinking right now.
Sexual performance anxiety should not rest on your shoulders alone.
There are steps you can take to reduce these negative feelings. Here are four simple tips that can help you get past the thoughts that are screwing up your sex life, so you can get back in bed with more confidence
Recommended Reading: What Gets Rid Of Anxiety
What Are The Signs He Has Performance Anxiety/symptoms
Even though performance anxiety affects everyone differently, there are some common symptoms. This is because you and I respond to anxiety and stress differently.
Therefore, your body can produce different signs and symptoms of performance anxiety. Some of the common symptoms include:
- Premature ejaculation
- Inability to get an orgasm
- Having little or no interest in having sexual intercourse
These signs that he has performance anxiety will manifest either to new or regular partner depending on the severity of the male performance anxiety.
Since performance anxiety is related to ED. Some of the symptoms of ED are also symptoms of performance anxiety. These include:
- Trouble having an erection
Studying Efficiently Can Reduce Testing Anxiety
The more familiar you are with the information you are learning, the more prepared you will feel when test day comes. It is important to consistently review previously learned information as a unit progresses so you can remember all information presented over time. Students can make a regular practice of rolling new information into a study routine.
Below are some general guidelines you can follow:
Put the time into studying by studying over time.
Break information down into logical parts.
Consider focusing on one topic per study session.
If something isnt working, try something new.
Get some help from a tutor.
Join a study group.
Find a fresh study spot.
Review, review, review- It is very important to study in bursts so your mind has time to process and store information.
Review class information daily so that you are familiar and confident in your knowledge of topics prior to test day.
Take breaks and remember to sleep to let the information sink in.
Visualize what happens as you pour liquid into a funnel. What happens if you pour more at one time than the funnel can hold? The liquid flows over the side of the funnel and does not get stored with the rest of the liquid that drains into the container.
Most people can concentrate well for about 45 minutes, according to TeensHealth. It is a good idea to take a 15-minute break for every 45 minutes of study.
Study topics that connect to each other in one session.
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Male Performance Anxiety Solutions
There are several ways of either coping or treating performance anxiety. These solutions work differently in different people. We will explore some of the common ways of dealing with male performance anxiety.
As a person dating a guy with performance anxiety, you also have a role to play. You can check for signs he has performance anxiety and help support and come up with a solution together.
The following solutions may also work for erectile dysfunction but in case they do not work for you, you can see a doctor.
Premature Ejaculation And Sexual Performance Anxiety
Like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation is a very common sexual issue.
Approximately one-third of men under the age of 60 have at least occasional issues with PE. Doctors define early ejaculation as regularly reaching orgasm within one minute after penetration during vaginal sex.
Whether you have chronic symptoms or symptoms that only occur from time to time, PE has the potential to increase the odds of sexual performance anxiety.
As mentioned above, sexual performance anxiety can potentially lead to PE, which can further increase anxiety. It can therefore become a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, there are numerous solutions to help you overcome this issue.
Recommended Reading: How To Deal With Physical Anxiety
Communicate With Your Partner
One of the best things you can do if you experience performance anxiety is to communicate this to your partner. And donât worry, you donât need to tell them every detail if you donât want to. At first, simply let them know youâre feeling nervous.
They will empathize with you and try their best to make you feel more comfortable or understood. Explain to them what you need to feel more comfortable and at ease.
Perhaps you need to take things slow or set certain boundaries. Introduce the possibility that you might need to stop and take a few breaths, or possibly stop altogether. Make them aware of your boundaries and needs. The only way to be cared for is to let your partners know what you need.