How Do You Break Up With Someone With Anxiety
To break up someone with anxiety, you should:
Make a decision not to go back to the relationship, to avoid hurting the person and yourself twice, Talk to your partner, without judging him/her for having anxiety, and putting the blame on it,Spend time with close people who can support you,Go to the gym, take yoga classes, or go to swimming ,Meet a professional psychologist.
How Betterhelp Can Support You
Maybe youre exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the breakup or the breakup is aggravating an existing anxiety disorder.
The effects of an anxiety disorder at this time can be hard to deal with. Youre having trouble getting out to see your friends. You dont want to get out of your pajamas. Its brutal to leave the house and go to work. Breakup Anxiety isnt an officially recognized mental health condition, but it can sure feel like one.
If youre living with an anxiety disorder or dealing with other mental health challenges after a relationship ends there is hope out there. Online counseling and mental health services are here for you.
The wellness professionals at BetterHelp care about your pain. Licensed therapists can help you get through the confusion and pain of dealing with a relationship ending and living with anxiety. They want you to heal from this experience. And you can, with the help and informed professional advice of a mental health therapist who understands how hard it is when a relationship ends.
You might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but your counselor can. Trust the skilled mental health professionals they are here to help you. BetterHelp board-certified and licensed therapists can help you transition and find a way to improve mental health and rebuild yourself after your breakup.
Reflect On The Relationship
All of our relationships teach us about ourselves, even the relationships that have ended. An important part of moving on from a breakup and growing into the next part of your life is reflecting on the relationship.
Either by yourself, with a trusted friend, or with help from a mental health professional, ask these questions and be honest about your answers:
- How did this relationship make me feel about myself?
- What can I learn from how this relationship started, and how it ended?
- Is there anything from this relationship that I want to have again in my next relationship? Is there anything from this relationship that I dont want in my next relationship?
- Was this a healthy relationship, or have I romanticized it now that were not together?
Relationships are a two-way street. Answering these questions honestly will help you figure out what you want out of a relationship, how to find someone who best fits your needs, and how to be a supportive partner to someone else.
Also Check: How To Stop Health Anxiety
What Can I Do To Overcome My Depression After A Breakup
According to Melania Hiken, M.A from HealthDay, If, after two months, you feel as rotten as you did the first week you broke up, or if your mood is affecting your work or making it difficult to take care of yourself or your family, its a sign you may be suffering from a clinical depression.
In this case, you should consider consulting a psychologist,, or psychiatrist who can help you determine if you have a mood disorder that can be treated with therapy and/or antidepressant medications.
Talking to a professional is advised when you dont feel like talking ton family or friends about it because they simply dont validate your feelings or dont understand how you are feeling.
Lets consider some tips on what you can do to overcome a breakup.
Are Some People More Susceptible To Ptsd
The chances of developing PTSD depend on many factors, including individual resilience traits, prior trauma, prior mood and anxiety disorders, coping methods, substance use, and support systems.
It can happen to anyone, Dr. Tendler says. A number of factors can increase the chances that someone will develop PTSD, many of which are not under that persons control. You can develop PTSD when you go through, see, or learn about an event involving actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violation.
Recommended Reading: Do I Have Agoraphobia Or Social Anxiety
The End Of A Relationship
When youre trying to figure out how to deal with a breakup, you might find yourself asking some questions: What if I feel like this forever? or, Should I get back with my ex?
These types of thoughts are perfectly natural. And although its also normal to seek immediate relief from distressing thoughts and feelings, this is a good time for introspection, self-reflection, and an opportunity to take good care of your mental health. The relationship ending leaves you with a new beginning, and although that might be anxiety-provoking the time following a breakup can be a place to reflect.
What should I do after my breakup?
Instead of immediately contacting your ex, take a step back and be real with yourself. Once you get beyond the feelings of rejection, youll remember that theres a reason you broke up. Sure, there were things you liked about the relationship, but theres a reason it ended.
And, its not a failure, its a breakup. People go through breakups all the time. Understandably, that does not mean it is easy, and you may be feeling anxious after a breakup, but this is normal, and you will find coping mechanisms to tackle the anxious thoughts and feelings. Breaking up with someone doesnt mean that your mental health will never recover.
People often ask questions like these about ending a relationship:
Is it normal to have anxiety after a breakup?
How long does anxiety last after a breakup?
Can heartbreak give you anxiety?
Does breakup anxiety go away?
The Science Of Depression & Breakups
Our brain chemistry contributes to how we respond to breakups and why they are so tough to overcome, according to a study in the Journal of Neurophysiology. The study found that love is a goal-oriented motivational state rather than a specific emotion. In other words, relationships, romantic ones in particular, invoke an instinct necessary for human survival.
The study also found that the feelings toward a former partner following a breakup trigger the same part of the brain thats activated when someone has a drug craving. Your feelings about another person following romantic rejection, the study suggests, are a specific form of addiction. Enjoyable time spent with another person acts like a reward system to the brain. Emotionally positive social interactions cause people to crave and anticipate similar experiences. When a major source of happiness is removed from someones life, they often struggle to see how they will replace that person and those moments.
After a breakup, your brain may simply be reminding you that social relationships are important. Its why social connection is the strongest protective factor for depression, according to a study in the American Journal of Psychiatry.
Biological factors, including decreased levels of dopamine and serotonin, can help explain sadness after breakups. But symptoms are not meant to be long-term.
Psychology Today suggests overcoming this biological hurdle by telling yourself positive affirmations, like:
Read Also: Is Wellbutrin Good For Anxiety
How Long Can Depression Last After A Breakup
You are asking yourself How long can depression last after a breakup?, well it depends.
Depression can last for as long as 6 months and even more after a breakup. It really all depends on the circumstances.
If it was a long term relationship then depression can usually last much longer than if it was a short term relationship.
It is very important to find a way to begin to manage your wellbeing after a breakup if not you could fall into a depression which in the end can make you isolate from friends and family. Yes, it is true.
No one is born prepared to go through a breakup, especially when we are bombarded on perfect happily ever after kind of romances or the tragic type where they do whatever it takes to be together.
Nobody wants to be depressed after a breakup and nobody wants depression to last long after a breakup but unfortunately, sometimes we cannot control the outcomes which we may face and depression can last an incredibly long time after a break up if we dont begin to take control of our wellbeing.
It is very important to open up the curtains, interact with your friends and have an upbeat mentality after a breakup if not depression can begin to take a hold of you.
Dont be scared or worried if you begin to feel depressed after a breakup and now youre single.
You arent the first person who has wondered how long does depression last after a breakup?
It is a pretty common question people ask themselves when they go through a breakup.
Endocrine And Immune Dysfunction
Physiological and biochemical changes that contribute to higher physical illnesses and heart disease have been found in individuals that have high levels of anxiety and depression. Some individuals who have divorced have compromised immune systems because of inflammatory cytokines followed by a state of depression.
|This section relies too much on references to primary sources. Please improve this section by adding secondary or tertiary sources.|
The sentiment is expressed in a collection of Sumerian proverbs:
May Inana pour oil on my heart that aches.
Biblical references to the pain of a broken heart date back to 1015 BC.
Insults have broken my heart and left me weak, I looked for sympathy but there was none I found no one to comfort me
Dr. Tali Bashour M.D. FACC was the first doctor to write and publish about this syndrome calling it the broken heart syndrome. He was published on Feb 4, 1994 in the San Francisco Independent and in the summer of that same year in the newspaper health Scene discussing and naming it such. Dr. Bashour also wrote and published the book, The Broken Heart in 2011.
Don’t Miss: How To Manage Severe Anxiety Without Medication
Why Breakups Can Trigger Depression
Its not surprising that breakups can cause depression. Each relationship is different, but most leave the partnership with unresolved feelings. Its safe to say that the majority of separations arent mutual decisions. The person who didnt contribute to the decision may feel rejected and abandoned. They could also be angry, bitter, and resentful.
In some cases, the person who was broken up with will feel remorse and guilt about the relationship. Did they do something wrong? Should they have done something differently? Why arent they good enough? These questions address not just the relationship, but youre identity. Depression is more profound than being sad or mad that something ended its about questioning your identity and worth.
Breakups arent the only things that trigger depression. Sometimes its the grief you feel after losing a loved one to disease or an accident. Working through trauma from your childhood can trigger it, as can being hurt by someone you trusted. The list of causes of depression is endless. However, when its caused by a breakup, theres usually a strong element of decreased self-worth.
Those with preexisting mental health conditions are at a higher risk of developing depression post-breakup. This is especially true if theyve suffered from depression in the past. The crucial thing to remember is that depression looks different with everyone, and it should always be taken seriously.
Take All The Time You Need
Finally, this is something that I cannot stress enough. Forget about conventional wisdom that says that it takes half the total time you spent with that person to get over them and forget about all the scientific studies telling you how long it takes the average person to get over a breakup.
First of all, youre not an average person, and secondly, getting over your lost love is similar to getting over an addiction: you need to take it a day at a time.
So, if youve never had much empathy for people with substance abuse issues, you will now. While, as with most addictions, there wont be a magical moment when you can say Im cured, your days will get better one at a time.
Take them as they come and dont be mad with yourself if it seems to take forever. Once you do come out of this dark tunnel, what you will find on the other end is a more empowered, more complex, and more human version of you.
Also Check: What Medicine Is Good For Social Anxiety
Anxiety After Breakup Quotes
Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities. Patti Roberts
Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders? Leo Tolstoy
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Mark Twain
If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you have made, if they do not realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go. Steve Maraboli
If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate. C. Joybell C.
Two people who break up could never be friends. If they can stay friends, then it means that they are still in love or that they never were. Unknown
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? Leo Buscaglia
A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave than risk hurting yourself trying to pick up all of the broken pieces. Unknown
The hottest love has the coldest end. Socrates
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. M. Kathleen Casey
Emotional Abuse Can Cause Nervous Breakdown
The effects of emotional abuse can be painful and destructive, both in the short and long-term. Survivors are often plagued by low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness. Many experience deep shame, guilt, and self-loathing, in part because these are feelings the abuser has deliberately cultivated in you and as a result of of the stigmas and misunderstanding that surround abusive relationships. Often, shame and guilt drive you to stay silent about your experiences and may act as a barrier to leaving the relationship. Even if you have already walked away from the relationship, psychological pain can remain pervasive, shaping your understanding of yourself and the world around you. This may be particularly true in the absence of a strong social support network, which abusers so often strip from you in order to fuel your dependence.
For some, emotional abuse eventually leads to nervous breakdown. While there is no clinical definition of this phenomenon, it typically refers to the point at which psychological distress disrupts functionality. This loss of function occurs when the effects of emotional abuse become too much to bear. Dr. Philip Timms describes a common trajectory of breakdown:
You May Like: What Medication Is Used To Treat Anxiety
Coping With A Breakup
A study published in Social Psychological & Personality Science found that discussing a breakup and considering the reasons why it might have happened is often helpful: Reflection may help regain a sense of self, which may make it easier to move on. Relationships are a significant part of life, and it is generally necessary to acknowledge their importance and the pain and sadness that accompanies their loss in order to move on. Focusing on self-care after a breakup may be helpful and ease the recovery process: eating well, getting sufficient sleep, staying active, avoiding potentially harmful behaviors such as excessive drinking or drug use, and accepting support and care from family and friends are all likely to benefit healing and improve one’s outlook.
Although a breakup can lead to feelings of inadequacy or guilt, it can also be helpful to instead consider personal growth and the things learned, positive or negative, from the time spent in the relationship. If a relationship did not work out, it may be helpful to know why, so that this knowledge can be applied to future relationships.
Book Yourself A Massage
When you end a relationship, theres a sudden drop-off in physical touch. And skin-to-skin contact decreases the stress hormone cortisol and boosts the feel-good hormone dopamine, says Dr. Chloe. So without it, you lose a lot of those smiley feelings.
Touch makes you feel wanted, valued, loved, and safenot to mention, part of what you might be missing about your ex is simply physical intimacy.
It can feel like psychological withdrawal, Dr. Chloe says. I always recommend clients get a massage from someone who is the same sex as your ex. You might be craving some compassionate male touch, and a massage can check that primal box. Its okay to miss being touched and held, but it doesnt have to be with that one person.
You May Like: What Does Anxiety Feel Like In The Chest