How To Help Separation Anxiety

What Is The Difference Between Separation Anxiety And Separation Anxiety Disorder

Separation anxiety is a regular part of a childs development. Separation anxiety disorder is an extreme fear of being separated from a loved one or primary caregiver . It’s much more intense and not developmentally appropriate. Separation anxiety becomes a disorder when the anxiety interferes with age-appropriate behavior.

Signs Of Separation Anxiety In Dogs

Dogs suffering from separation anxiety might learn their persons predeparture cueslike putting on a certain uniform, making lunch or organizing a briefcaseand begin to exhibit stress responses before their person even leaves.

Once the dog is alone, they might exhibit any or all of the following hallmarks of separation anxiety:

• Pacing: Dogs that are panicked by their persons departure might be unable to settle down and might resort to walking back and forth repeatedly.

• Vocalization: Barking and howling are common canine responses to isolation, but dogs with separation anxiety might continue vocalizing the entire time theyre alone.

• Loss of appetite: Separation anxiety can cause even the most food-motivated dog to ignore treats and bones.

• Destruction: Many dogs suffering from separation anxiety destroy small household itemslike the remote control or pillowsor resort to large-scale destruction, like tearing through furniture, walls, doors or windows.

• Elimination: Dogs that are house-trained might have accidents while alone, including diarrhea.

• Drooling: Some stressed dogs drool excessively and wind up with a soaked chin and chest.

• Escape: Dogs with severe separation anxiety might be able to escape confinement, which can result in injuries.

What Is Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is a normal part of development that occurs when toddlers begin to grow more aware and develop stronger relationships with their caregivers, said Jerimya Fox, a licensed professional counselor and a doctor of behavioral health at Banner Behavioral Health Hospital. This awareness can make them more apprehensive and possibly feel unsafe without their parent or caregiver.

Whether its dropping your child off at daycare or leaving your child at home as you head out to work, farewells can be difficult. Your child may understand that mommy and daddy didnt disappear forever, but they might not know for how long. All they know is that they feel safest when youre around.

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Leaving Your Dog To ‘crying It Out’ Means Suffering In Silence

Some dog training guides may suggest letting a dog ‘cry it out’. This technique, whilst practised widely, is neurologically damaging. Here’s why:

• Dogs and puppies left to cry it out will only learn that being alone is terrifying.
• Every time your dog becomes highly distressed, stress hormones occur in the body which can take days to reduce. This can cause negative, long-term effects on your dog’s body and mental state.
• Some will sadly learn that calling for their owner to come back doesn’t work, so they learn to suffer in silence.

Older Children And Separation Anxiety

What about children who are still experiencing anxiety at the prospect of being away from their parents well into their school years? Well, while a little worry about leaving mom or dad when older is totally normal , intense fear which keeps a child from experiencing and enjoying normal activities may be categorized as .

While the signs of SAD are similar to those of separation anxiety, they are more extreme and prolonged and may include:

• Excessive tiredness due to lack of sleep/nightmares about being alone.
• Being worried when away from home or family .
• Anxious about the safety of a particular family member.
• Fear of becoming lost.
• Refusing to go to school.
• Fearful of being alone, even in safe environments .
• Frequent tummy aches, headaches, or other physical complaints.
• Excessive worry about personal safety.
• Panic resulting in temper tantrums, crying, or lashing out at times of separation from parents.

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Create A Separation Plan With Your Child

This is one thing that really helped ease my own childs separation anxiety.

A separation plan is just a plan about how you will say goodbye when you and your child need to separate.

You might need multiple plans for different situations for example, one for when youre dropping them off at school and one for when youre leaving the house without them, etc.

This gives your child some control over how they separate from you.

For example, our separation plan was to wait in the car for the bell to ring, then wed walk inside together and Id give him 3 hugs at the elevator, then hed be the one to press the button for me to leave.

Later, it was changed to 3 hugs at the main door, as he became more comfortable leaving me for school, eventually separating went more and more smoothly.

Symptoms Of Adult Separation Anxiety

In the discussion of adult separation anxiety, again, due to lack of concrete diagnostic criteria, many look to the symptoms of separation anxiety in children as a way to gain understanding. In children, symptoms of separation anxiety include:

• Distress when attached to a specific figure or figures.
• Excessive worry about losing these figures.
• Anxious, “worst case scenario” thinking about separation.
• Trouble sleeping when away from a specific person.
• Physical complaints when separation appears imminent.

One might also add the belief that the person cannot live without another person, or that their quality of life will suffer dramatically.

Because adult brains are far more developed than the brains of children, it is likely adult separation anxiety will reveal itself in different ways. Nevertheless, severe distress at the thought of being without someone is very probable to be a central sign of ASA, and some variation of the above list would likely fit into any diagnostic criteria.

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Can Separation Anxiety Always Be Prevented

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Acknowledge The Parents Feelings

Try to step into the parents shoes for a moment, because as a mom, dad, or other caregiver, watching a child become distressed and then having to leave is tremendously upsetting. Assure parents that you will help their child to settle in and that their little one isnt the first to have difficulty separating from them. Build rapport with the parents, and this will help the child to develop trust with you, too.

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Provide Interactive Toys For Your Dog To Play With While Youre Gone

Dogs with mild separation intolerance can also learn to enjoy the ritual of getting a treat-stuffed goody when their person leaves the house for the day. However, Flores cautions against leaving interactive food toys with dogs that are suffering from full-blown separation anxiety.

Sometimes, because the food toy has been given so often before departure, the food becomes a cue that something bad is about to happen, she explains. Once the food has been consumed, the dog will realize their person is still gone and panic.

Impact On Mental Health

Living in a state of fear causes us to be more reactive and make decisions from a place of fear or a place of not wanting to lose someone or something.

We therefore make decisions that aren’t usually from our heart, they’re more from our head, reacting to an imaginary negative outcome of the future. This state of being greatly affects our mental health, because it’s harder for us to experience joy and secure connection and attachment.

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How Is Separation Anxiety Diagnosed In Adults

Your healthcare provider will ask you questions about your history and symptoms. With your permission, they also may ask your friends and loved ones about your symptoms. In this way, they can see how your symptoms affect your life. You also may speak with a therapist.

Your healthcare provider will use a book called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition to diagnose a separation anxiety disorder. The DSM-V says that symptoms of separation anxiety disorder must meet three criteria:

• Symptoms must be present for at least six months in adults.
• Symptoms must cause major impairment to normal functioning.
• Symptoms cannot be explained by a different diagnosis.

Encourage Them To Seek Help

Separation anxiety disorder is a mental condition that might require psychotherapy to learn ways to better manage the condition. However, many people with psychological conditions, like separation anxiety disorder, do not seek professional treatment. Others might not know when to seek help for anxiety problems.

You can encourage a friend with . Talk to them about the benefits of psychotherapy and how it has helped others with separation anxiety. If they do decide to seek therapy, you can offer help by driving them to their appointments.

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Signs Of Separation Anxiety In Infants

“The timing and intensity of the separation anxiety may be different for different children,” says Jessica Mercer Young, Ph.D., a research scientist at Education Development Center in Newton, Massachusetts. Your little one will likely get clingy and cry as soon as you leave their side. It doesn’t matter whether they’re at daycare, in their crib, or at Grandma’s housethe tears will typically be shed regardless. Rest assured, though, they’ll probably calm down shortly after you walk out the door.

The intensity of your child’s reaction depends on their temperament and their typical routine. Other factors play a role, too: Infants who have been exposed early on to caregivers other than their parents tend to have an easier time dealing with departures in later months. However, if your baby is tired, hungry, or sick, they’ll likely have a very hard time if you leave. So, how can you cope when your baby is upset, but you’ve got to dash? Try some of these expert tips.

What Is The Difference Between Separation Anxiety Disorder In Children And In Adults

While anxiety disorders such as SAD cannot be prevented altogether, seeking treatment as soon as you notice that your child has a problem can reduce the severity of the problem and improve your childs quality of life. Some other tips include:

• Stay calm in front of your child, as she often looks to you for how to react in new and uncertain situations.
• Avoid providing an excessive amount of reassurance since this may signal more, not less, to worry about.
• Teach your child how to problem solve, cope, and reassure herself.
• Limit the avoidance of activities. Though avoidance may temporarily reduce distress, it will allow the anxiety to grow and make things more difficult for your child in the future.
• Provide support and praise for small victories in separation rather than consequences for the difficulties, since consequences tend to increase anxiety.

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Managing Separation Anxiety In Teens

Anxiety comes in many different forms and can affect you in many different ways. The symptoms for each form can vary slightly from person to person and may depend on age, environment, and reason for anxiety. Anxiety can be caused by things like performance nervousness, social situations but what were going to cover today is separation anxiety. Specifically, how to manage separation anxiety in teens.

Here are FIVE ways to help manage separation anxiety.

Encourage Your Pet To Relax During Their Alone Time

Try to take your dog for a walk before you go out so that they have the opportunity to go to the toilet and exercise. Return half an hour before you plan to leave and make sure they’re not hungry. You can feed them a small meal before you leave or leave a food toy – your dog will be much more inclined to relax if they’re fed!

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Keep Goodbyes Brief And Upbeat

Drawn-out goodbyes can prolong distress, so keep goodbyes brief and positive. It may help to create a goodbye ritual, such as a special handshake, or providing the child with a special blanket or toy to comfort them.

It is OK to comfort a child who is experiencing separation anxiety, but do not linger. Give them full attention and affection, and then leave.

Providing comfort and reassurance during the day may help ease nighttime separations. However, often a little extra support is necessary at bedtime to help children feel secure before they fall asleep.

It may help to:

• stick to a bedtime routine
• ensure they have a security toy or blanket with them
• stay calm and relaxed while saying goodnight, as children can detect their caregivers moods
• avoid sneaking out after they fall asleep this can cause distress if they wake up again
• comfort the child if they wake up by rubbing or patting them until they calm down, then leave
• when possible, avoid taking them out of the bed and rocking them to sleep

age of 3 years and begins to fade as the child develops a greater understanding that their caregiver will return. However, some children can continue to experience separation anxiety for longer periods.

When separation anxiety persists into later childhood, it is known as childhood separation anxiety disorder . This is a mental health condition that causes a level of separation anxiety that is unusual for the childs stage of development.

What Is The Difference Between Separation Anxiety And Normal Canine Behavior

Separation anxiety is a serious condition, and it goes beyond the occasional mournful whimper when you leave the house or the shredded sock waiting for you upon your return. Its also not the same as boredom, and unlike a little mischief when your dog is left alone, separation anxiety is the result of legitimate stress.

Before labeling destroyed cushions or potty accidents as SA, be sure its not a case of inadequate training. Does your dog truly understand good manners, even when youre not watching him? Is he 100% potty trained? One of the best ways to see whats really going on in your absence is to audio or videotape your dogs behavior while youre away.

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How To Help A Dog With Anxiety

If your dog seems to worry when you’re heading out, destroys stuff when you leave the house, follows you from room to room when you’re home, goes berserk when you come back and seems to be eyeing you suspiciously even before you leaveyou may be dealing with a case of separation anxiety.

Dogs with separation anxiety exhibit distress and behavior problems when they’re left alone. Some of the most common ways they do this:

• Digging and scratching at doors or windows attempting to reunite with their owners
• Destructive chewing
• Urination and defecation

Why Do Some Dogs Develop Separation Anxiety

There is no conclusive evidence showing exactly why dogs develop separation anxiety. However, because far more dogs who have been adopted from shelters have this behavior problem than those kept by a single family since puppyhood, it is believed that loss of an important person or group of people in a dogs life can lead to separation anxiety. Other less dramatic changes can also trigger the disorder. The following is a list of situations that have been associated with development of separation anxiety.

Change of Guardian or FamilyBeing abandoned, surrendered to a shelter or given to a new guardian or family can trigger the development of separation anxiety.

Change in ScheduleAn abrupt change in schedule in terms of when or how long a dog is left alone can trigger the development of separation anxiety. For example, if a dogs guardian works from home and spends all day with his dog but then gets a new job that requires him to leave his dog alone for six or more hours at a time, the dog might develop separation anxiety because of that change.

Change in ResidenceMoving to a new residence can trigger the development of separation anxiety.

Change in Household MembershipThe sudden absence of a resident family member, either due to death or moving away, can trigger the development of separation anxiety.

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How To Handle A More Severe Problem

Use the techniques outlined above along with desensitization training. Teach your dog the sit-stay and down-stay commands using positive reinforcement. This training will help them learn that they can remain calmly and happily in one place while you go to another room.

Exercise and mental stimulation are critical to reducing anxiety and stress. Be sure your dog receives adequate exercise before you leave. Walking the same city block each day wont reduce anxiety, but sniffing and exploring new places will.

Create a “safe place” to limit your dog’s ability to be destructive while youre away. A safe place should:

• Confine the dog loosely .
• Contain busy toys for distraction.
• Have dirty laundry to lend a calming scent cue or other safety cues.

How To Treat Minor Separation Anxiety

• Dont make a big deal out of arrivals and departurestalk to your dog in a calm voice when youre leaving or returning.
• Establish a word or action that you use every time you leave that tells your dog youll be back.
• Consider using an over-the-counter calming product that reduces fearfulness in dogs.

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